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How to win friends and influence people - Coggle Diagram
How to win friends and influence people
Most important points
If you want interest, be interested in other people
To win people over, you need to make them feel good about themselves.
Do not criticize, condemn,complain or be angry at people.
Give people an honest appreciation, do not sound fake.
Smile more.
Be a good listener, talk once listen twice.
Talk about other people's interest. Question more, seem more interested and eager to learn more.
Encourage people to talk about themselves.
How to Argue
Principles
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say that he is wrong or the idea is bullshit.
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Appeal to the nobler motives.
Dramatize your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.
How to be
a leader
Principles
Start off with praise and honest appreciation.
Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other person save face.
If you'd like to give feedback, do it privately.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.’
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Socratic Method
Sum up the person’s argument
What are you trying to say?” or “Could you restate that""
Ask for evidence
“Why do you believe that is true?”
What is the reasoning behind this?
Are there any evidence?
Challenge the assumptions
When an idea is unproven, it is an assumption—and assumptions can sometimes be wrong. After asking a person for their evidence, zero in on the ideas which aren’t supported by evidence. These are their assumptions.
Find an exception
Ask the other person to reformulate their argumen
Continue to ask questions or raise exceptions.