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Thoughts on ending Monogamy (Cheating (are we being naïve? (we all want…
Thoughts on ending Monogamy
Rethinking the relationship
what you should do VS what you want (and what is best)
Controversial idea connected to controversial relationship
lesbians
Cheating
are we being naïve?
we all want sex
dating multiple people in your life is just polyamory over time
is it possible to love one person and still want to have sex with another person? Are we lying to ourselves if we're claiming this not to be the case?
When is it infidelity?
Connected to the point of jealousy and possesion?
How are you truly doing your significant other a favour by commiting to them?
is it a sign of loyalty?
If so, why do so many "loyal" (i.e. monogamous) relationships break up and why is the divorce rate so high?
Is it just a question of finding the right person to be loyal to?
Is sex such a big deal?
it's a question of the meaning we bring to it: would giving a hug be a big deal if we made it so?
action and connection to meaning
Can polyamory be hot??
Someone else finding your significant other attractive
Multiple people finding
you
hot
Maybe having sex and sleeping around is hot if you simply sto treating it like infidelity: it only becomes betrayal if you define it as betrayal
Can you love multiple people?
Dating others VS Sleeping around
"I feel like someone making you orgasm isn't the same thing as making you happy" - Vivian
the fear of someone else making your loved one happy
fine with the idea that someone else makes you come and a friend makes you happy - but when those two people become the same, then they're replacing your role
Friend analogy
we all have multiple friends (and most of us a best friend)
We have different friends for different purposes: Is it a myth that only
one
person can complete you? Should you expect to be completed by your significant other?
Is monogamy not just the same as possesion?
jealousy
love?
possesion?
that feeling of deep sadness you feel when you realize your partner has cheated, where does it come from?
is it simply the feeling of betrayal? Deceipt?
if so, would it disappear if you agreed on it being allowed
Is it a sign that polyamory is unnatural?
Would people really rather avoid that feeling than be their true selves?
Is it even relevant to discuss what is natural?
History: sex as an exchange of goods
Men promised a house and food whilst the woman promised fidelity
Marriage originally not out of love, but a merging of families
We have made marriage, monogamy and love synonamous
Why did you marry him/her? Because I am in love with them