Understanding Interpersonal Communication
Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication
Communication Patterns in Relationships
Types of Interpersonal Relationship
How We Choose Relational Partners
What Makes Communication Interpersonal?
Mediated Interpersonal Communication
Evaluating Relationship Potential
Relationship Reality Check
Family Relationships
Freindship
Self-Disclosure in Interpersonal Relationships
Dialectical Perspective of Interpersonal Relationships
Metacommunication: Messages (usually relational) that refer to other messages; communication about communication.
Content and Relational Messages
Lies and Evasions
cyber relationship: An affiliation between people who know each other only in the virtual world.
phubbing: A mixture of the words phone and snubbing, used to describe episodes in which people pay more attention to their devices than they do to the people around them.
Why People Use Communication Technology
Online communication can be validating.
Electronic communication often has a pause option.
Mediated communication can feel nonthreatening
Mediated channels enable communication that would not happen otherwise.
my experience: Line helps me maintain connection and communication with my friends in my home country
text example: Even if you’re not shy, you may find some messages easier to send than to say aloud.
my experience: Line now has the function to retrieve the message, so I don't need to worried about sending the wrong message
The person likes and appreciates me.
I admire the person’s abilities
We balance each other out.
The person opens up to me.
We have a lot in common.
I see the person frequently.
The person is physically attractive.
The relationship is rewarding.
text example: Most people claim that we should judge others on the basis of character, not appearance. The reality, however, is quite the opposite—particularly in the early stages of romantic relationships.
social exchange theory: The idea that we seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them.
my experience: This reduce a lot of contradiction and dispute
Our priorities change.
Perfection can be a turn-off.
First impressions can mislead.
It’s not all about communication, but it’s a lot about communication.
For example, physical factors that catch our eye at first glance aren’t necessarily what we want in the long run.
text example: if people had to choose, most would rather spend time with a “lovable fool” than a “competent jerk.
Types of Friendships
Short-Term Versus Long-Term
Low Disclosure Versus High Disclosure
Youthful Versus Mature
Doing-Oriented Versus Being-Oriented
my experience: Long term friendship is really cherish, but thanks to technology is much more easier to maintain friendship now.
my experience: some private information I'm only willing to tell my best friend
Frequent Contact Versus Occasional Contact
Same Sex Versus Other Sex
In-Person Versus Mediated
Same-sex friendships between men typically involve good-natured competition and a focus on tasks and events, whereas female friends tend to treat each other more as equals and to engage in emotional support and self-disclosure.
my experience: some friends we don't need to contact frequently, but our relationship is still really good
family: A collection of people who share affection and resources and who think of themselves and present themselves as a family
Siblings
Grandparents and Grandchildren
Parents and Children
Romantic partners
intimacy A state of closeness between two (or sometimes more) people. Intimacy can be manifested in several ways: physically, intellectually, emotionally, and via shared activities.
Love languages
Stages of Romantic Relationships
Quality Time
Acts of Service
Affirming Words
Gifts
Physical Touch
example: This language includes compliments, thanks, and statements that express love and commitment
developmental models: (of relational maintenance) Theoretical frameworks based on the idea that communication patterns are different in various stages of interpersonal relationships.
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Bonding
Differentiating
Integrating
Circumscribing
Intensifying
Stagnating
Experimenting
Avoiding
Initiating
During this stage, people form first impressions and have the opportunity to present themselves in an appealing manner.
during this stage are generally pleasant and uncritical, and commitment is minimal.
In this stage, truly interpersonal relationships develop as people begin to express how they feel about each other.
In the integration stage, couples begin to take on an identity as a social unit.
The bonding stage is likely to involve a wedding, a commitment ceremony, or some other public means of communicating to the world that this is a relationship meant to last.
For example, a couple who moves in together may find that they have different expectations about doing chores, sleeping late, what to watch on TV, and so on.
In the circumscribing stage, communication decreases significantly in quantity and quality.
Terminating
If circumscribing continues, the relationship begins to stagnate.
text example: some couples unenthusiastically repeat the same conversations, see the same people, and follow the same routines without any sense of joy or novelty.
When stagnation becomes too unpleasant, partners distance themselves in more overt ways
Characteristics of this final stage include summary dialogues about where the relationship has gone and the desire to break up.
relational message: A message
that expresses the social relationship between two or more individuals.
affinity: The degree to which people like or appreciate one another. As with all relational messages, affinity is usually expressed nonverbally.
content message: A message that communicates information about the subject being discussed.
respect: The degree to which we hold others in esteem.
control: The social need to influence others.
immediacy: The degree of interest and attraction we feel toward and communicate to others. As with all relational mes- sages, immediacy is usually expressed nonverbally.
text example: Whenever we discuss a rela- tionship with others, we are metacommunicating: “It sounds like you’re angry at me” or “I appreciate how honest you’ve been.”
self-disclosure The process of deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and that would not normally be known by others.
breadth(ofself-disclosure): The range of topics about which an individual discloses.
social penetration model: A theory that describes how intimacy can be achieved via the breadth and depth of self-disclosure.
depth (of self-disclosure): The level of personal information a person reveals on a particular topic.
Johari Window: A model that describes the relationship between self- disclosure and self-awareness.
dialectical model The perspective that people in virtually all interpersonal relationships must deal with equally important, simultaneous, and opposing forces such as connection and auton- omy, predictability and novelty, and openness versus privacy.
altruistic lies Deception intended to be unmalicious, or even helpful, to the person to whom it is told.
Evasions
my experience: In oder to maintain harmony in relationship, sometimes I lie to other.
Self-Serving Lies
Self-serving lies are attempts to manipulate the listener into believing something that is untrue—not primarily to protect the listener, but to advance the deceiver’s agenda
text example: For example, people might lie on their income tax returns or deny that they have been drinking if a cop pulls them over.
Evasions aren’t outright mistruths.
Questions
- I think the concept about The person is Physically attractive really bothers me, since that even though I often remind myself not to judge people on their appearances, but I sometimes still make the same mistake.
- The concept about Frequent contact versus Occasional contact really makes me want to find out more, since I want to know that why some of friends don't need frequent contact but can still maintain their friendship well.
- I think the concept about Perfection can be turned off really surprised me, since that to me I would talk and work with the smartest person.