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Managing Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships (Styles of Expressing…
Managing Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships
Involves an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scare resources, and interference from one another in achieving their goals
4 parts of definition helps illustrate the conditions that give rise to interpersonal conflict
Perceived incompatible goals
Perceived scarce resources
Interdependence
Expressed struggle
Confirming Messages
Actions and words that express respect and show that we value the other person
Show recognition
Acknowledge the person's thoughts and feelings
Show that you agree
Disconfirming Messages
Words and actions that express a lack of caring or respect for another person
Partners criticize each other
Partners are defensive
One or both partners engage in stonewalling
Partners show contempt
How Communication Climates Develop
Relational spiral: A reciprocal communication pattern in which each person's message reinforces the other's
Avoidance spiral: A communication spiral in which the parties slowly reduce their dependence on one another, withdraw, and become less invested in the relationship
Escalatory spiral: A reciprocal pattern of communication in which messages, either confirming or disconfirming, between two or more communicators reinforce one another
Styles of Expressing Conflict
Nonassertion: The inability of unwillingness to express one's thoughts or feelings
Indirect communication: Hinting at a message instead of expressing thoughts and feelings directly
Passive aggression: An indirect expression of aggression, delivered in a way that allows the sender to maintain a facade of kindness
Direct aggression: A message that attacks the position and perhaps the dignity of the receiver
Assertive communication: A style of communicating that directly expresses the sender's needs, thoughts, or feelings, delivered in a way that does not attack the receiver
Characteristics of an Assertive Message
Describe your feelings
Describe the consequences
Share your interpretation of the other's behavior
State your intentions
Describe the behavior in question
Gender and Conflict Style
Origins of gender differences
Conflict dilemmas
Commonalities
Conflict in Online Communication
Delay
Disinhibition
Permanence
Methods for Conflict Resolution
Win-lose problem solving: An approach to conflict resolution in which one party reaches his or her goal at the expense of the other
Step in Win-Win Problem Solving
Step1. Identify your problem
Step 5. Check your partner's understanding
Step 4. Describe your problem and needs
Step 6. Solicit your partner's needs
Step 3. Make a date
Step 7. Check your understanding of your partner's needs
Step 2. Explore your unmet needs
Step 8. Discuss ways to meet your common goals
Step 9. Follow up on the solution
Lose-lose problem solving: An approach to conflict resolution in which neither party achieves its goals
Compromise: An approach to conflict resolution in which both parties attain at least part of what they seek by giving something up