Marriage Bliss or Breakdown - what you need to know to confidently make a decision for moving forward
On the fence about whether they should stay in the relationship or go. Star Result #2: From Questioning to Commitment
How do they get the result?
What else are they thinking about?
When do they feel the absence of clarity?
Star Result #3: what are my core needs in my relationship? what are my rights and responsibilities? guiding principles what you will do and won't do
Star result #1:mindset shift: get to the real question (am i willing to see our relationship challenges as an opportunity for growth rather than this is a problem?) to ask so you can get to an answer that feels empowering and in your control
when they are constantly asking friends if they should stay or go
when they are having escape fantasies
when they are having an affair or are thinking about someone else
when they are doing things (drinking, working none stop, shopping, social media...) to not feel the pain and feeling the repercussions from that action.
When they miss what they used to have
when they see other happy couples who seem committed
when they pick fights so their partner makes the decision for them
that they should leave but things get in the way
Resigned themselves to stay
all the logistics of leaving
how to make money so they can make it on their own
the damage leaving will do to the children
what others will think if they leave
about another person and how much better the relationship will be
being too old or not enough in some way
ways to get the other person to change/meet their needs
focus on other areas of their life - work, exercise, friends...
Why is this hard?
decision making is hard when neither option is appealing
don't have a clear vision of what is possible
don't believe they can be happy either way
can't sit with the pain long enough to make a decision so do little things to take the edge off but don't get the results they want
lay options on the table
growth options
leave and do your own work
stay and do your own work
dead end options
stay and don't do your work
stay and try to change him
leave and don't do your work
why is this hard?
what else are they thinking?
When does this happen?
how do they get the result?
when they ask should I stay or should I go? they don't have a solution that feels good and limit their growth
when they instead ask: am I going to use these challenges or not? they have to face they are in control of creating their life and relationship
it is easy to stay in fear, blame and to focus on others then on ourselves and what we have the power to change - hard to take a look at yourself and feel your emotions
requires us to step into our best selves to create better relationships - have to decide what this looks like
when they realize they are not able to answer the question should i stay or should i go? but are unhappy about their current situation
when they really want to change their current situation
when they are open to growth in all their relationships
why should I have to do the work?
what if this doesn't work
what if he is unwilling to make changes
Relationship roadmap - understand the stages a relationship goes through and that power struggle is one of the stages...all relaitonships will hit this stage
understanding that each time you go through a transformative change it will trigger fears and we act out on those with our partner
imagine future results for each option
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Why is this so hard?
How do they get the results?
What else are they thinking?
When does this happen?
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I don't know who I am anymore
I don't know what I want
Paint a picture of who you want to be in your long -term fulfilling and loving relationship - commit to being a person who loves, respects, is honest, communicates
think about what you want from others and be it yourself and to others
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be with our uncomfortable truths and sitting with the emotions
Course Names
bliss or breakdown...make a decision on which path to take in your marriage with confidence
Marriage Meltdown or Miracle -
3 kinds of business - only one you have control over - YOU. Focus on getting what you want (ie. start with how you want to feel)
when