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Chapter 7: Understanding Interpersonal Communication (Types of…
Chapter 7: Understanding Interpersonal Communication
Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication
What make communication interpersonal?
interpersonal communication
: Two-way interaction between people who are part of a close and irreplaceable relationship in which they treat each other as unique individuals
Mediated Interpersonal communication
cyber relationship
: An affiliation between people who knew each other only in the virtual world
why people use communication technology
mediated channels enable communication that would not happen otherwise
mediated communication can feel nonthreatening
online communication can be validating
electronic communication often has a pause option
drawbacks of online communication
excessive use of online communication can diminish relationships
phubbing
: a mixture of words phone and snubbing, used to describe episodes in which people pay more attention to their devices than they do to the people around
quantity over quality
How We Choose Relational Partners
Evaluating relationship potential
the person is physically attractive
we have a lot in common
I see the person frequently
we balance each other out
the relationship is rewarding
social exchange theory
: the idea that we seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them
the person likes and appreciate me
the person opens up to me
I admire the person's ability
Relation reality check
our priority changes
perfection can be a turn-off
First impression can mislead
it not all about communication, but it's a lot about communication
Types of Interpersonal Relationships
Friendship
types of friendship
frequent contact versus occasional contact
same sex versus other sex
low obligation versus high obligation
about what we do for them and how quickly we would do it
low disclosure versus high disclosure
in-person versus mediated
short-term versus long-term
youthful versus mature
youthful friends are like playmates, but mature friends are value by how they are as a person
Family
siblings
grandparents and grandchildren
parents and children
where most of our habit and value comes from
family
: a collection of people who share affection and resources and who think of themselves as a family
love languages
affirming words
compliments, thanks, and statements that express love and commitment
quality time
people show love by completing tasks together, talking, or engaging in some other mutually enjoyable activity
acts of service
performing care for each other for example when they are sick
gifts
receiving a gift adds adds to their sense of being loved and valued
physical touch
such as huge, a kiss, a pat on the back, having sex
romantic partners
male and female intimacy styles
intimacy
: a state of closeness between two(or sometimes more) people. Intimacy can be manifested in several ways: physically, intellectually, emotionally, and via shared activities
researches find that women are better at developing and maintaining intimate relationships than men.
most important ingredient of intimacy are sharing personal information and showing emotions
stages of romantic relationships
some relationships ignite quickly, whereas some others grow gradually
develop model:
: theoretical frameworks based on the idea that communication patterns are different in various stages of interpersonal relationships.
initiating
when two first encounter each other
experimenting
when they being to have small talks
intensifying
people begin to express how they feel about each other
integrating
couples begin to take on an identity as a social unit
bonding
such as involving, a commitment ceremony
differentiating
even when the bonds between partners are strong and enduring, it is sometimes desirable to create some distance
circumscribing
communication decreases significantly in quality and quantity
stagnating
if circumscribing continues the relationship begins to stagnate
avoiding
partners distance themselves when stagnating becomes too unpleasant
terminating
when the relationship ends
something we should learn from the developing process
each stage requires different
relational development involves risk and vulnerability
partners can change the direction a relationship is headed
Communication Patterns in Relationship
content and relational messages
content messages
: a message that communicates informations
relational message
: a message that express the social relationship between two or more individuals.
affinity
the degree to which people like or appreciate others
most of the time it is nonverbal
respect
the degree to which we admire others and hold them esteem
immediacy
the degree of interest and attraction we feel toward and communicate to others
control
the amount of fluency communicator seeks
self-disclosure in interpersonal relationship
self-disclosure
: the process of deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and that would not normally be known by others
models of self-disclosure
social penetration model
: a theory that describe how intimacy can be achieved via the breadth and depth of self-disclosure
breadth
: the range of topics about which an individual discloses
depth
: the level of personal information a person reveals on a particular topic
The Johari Window
: a model that describe the relationship between self-disclosure and self-awareness
separated to four parts: known to self and known to others, not known to self but know to others, not known to others but known to self, not know to self also not know to others
characteristics of effective self-disclosure
in the disclosure appropriate?
is risk of disclosing reasonable?
is the other person important to you?
is the disclosure relevant to the situation at hand?
is disclosure reciprocated?
will the effect be constructive?
is the self-disclosure clear and understandable?
dialectical perspective of interpersonal relationships
dialectical model
the perspective that people virtually all interpersonal relationship must deal with equally important, simultaneous, and opposing forces such as connection and autonomy, predictability, and novelty, and openness versus privacy
connection versus autonomy
one of the most common reasons for breaking up is that one partner doesn't satisfy the other's need for connection
openness versus privacy
yet along with the need for intimacy, your experience probably shows and equally important need for you to maintain some space between yourself and others.
predictability versus novelty
stability is an important need in relationships, but too much predictability can lead to felling of staleness and boredom
strategies for managing dialectical tensions
disorientation
when communicators feels so overwhelmed and helpless that they are unable to comfort their problems
selection
when partners respond to one end of the dialect spectrum and ignore the other
denial
the least functional responses to dialectical tensions is to deny that they exist
alternation
communicator sometimes alternate between one end of the dialectical spectrum and the other
polarization
sometimes people find a balance of sorts by each staking a claim at opposite ends of a dialect continuum, and one partner might give up all their personal interest on the name of togethernesss
segmentation
when people compartmentalize different areas of the relationship
moderation
the moderation strategy is characterized by compromises in which people back off from expressing either end of the dialectical spectrum
reframing
communicators can also respond dialectical challenges by reframing them in terms that redefine the situation so that the apparent contradiction disappears
reaffirmation
acknowledging that dialectical tensions will never disappear and accepting or even embracing the challenges they present
several facets of relationship maintenance
partners can be in sync on some ways, but not in others
some approaches are more conductive to relational satisfaction
relationship involve continual change and negotiation
Lies and evasions
evasion
evasions are not outright mistruths. Rather, they evade full disclosure by being deliberately vague. Often motivated by good intention, evasion are based on their based on the belief that less clarity can be beneficial for the sender, the receiver, or sometimes both.
self-serving lies
self-serving lies attempts to manipulate the listener into believe something that is untrue-- not primarily to protect the listener, but to advance the deceiver's agenda.
altruistic lies
: deceptions intended to be unmalicious or even helpful, to the person to whom it is told
white lies most of the times fall in the category of being polite, and effective communicators know how and when to use them without causing offense
As for this chapter, there isn't a part that confuses me but, I really want to learn more about it because I think it will be especially useful to our future life.