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Understanding Interpersonal Communication (Chapter 7) (Terms/ Definitions,…
Understanding Interpersonal Communication (Chapter 7)
Key Ideas
Why people use communication technology?
Mediated channels enable communication that would not happen otherwise
Mediated communication can feel nonthreatening
Online communication can be validating
Electronic communication often has a pause option
Evaluating Relationship Potential
The person is physically attractive
We have a lot in common
We balance each other out
The person likes and appreciates me
The person opens up to me
I admire the person's abilities
I see the person frequently
The relationship is rewarding
Types of Interpersonal Relationships:
Friendships- Good friends keep us healthy, boost our self-esteem, and make us feel loved and supported. They also help us adjust to new challenges and uncertainty. Friends typically treat each other as equals
Family- We learn from our parents how to think about the world around us and how to manage our emotions. With siblings, some theorists say that "playing and arguing, joking and bickering" children learn a great deal about themselves and how to relate with others.
Romantic Partners
Affirming Words- Compliments, thanks, and statements that express love and commitment.
Quality Time- Some people show love by completing tasks together, talking or engaging in some other mutually enjoyable activity.
Acts of Service- People may show love by performing favors such as caring for each other when they are sick, doing the dishes, making meals, and so on
Gifts- For some people, receiving a gift even an inexpensive or free one such as a flower from the garden or handmade card adds on to their sense of being loved and valued.
Physical Touch- For some people, touch is such a powerful indicator of intimacy that even an incidental touch can spur interest.
Experience
I have had countless experiences with "Phubbing." I actually see it happening more often than it should be but I never knew there was a specific term for it. But there was a time my friends and I planned to have a reunion and I noticed that everyone in the group was just on their phones and not actually interacting to each other even when we havent seen each other for awhile.
I am sad to say that I have had many times where I told altruistic lies to my friends. Of course it is important to be honest but sometimes considering their emotional status or environment I will avoid saying rude things to not hurt their feelings. Like when my friend ask if her breathe smells bad I told her no it's fine but truthfully it wasn't that pleasant.
My experience with doing a relationship reality check was about 3 years ago. One of the considerations before choosing a romantic partner is "Perfection can be a turn-off." A month within our relationship I started to realize my partner was trying too hard to be perfect. I started to feel insecure and not good enough so I definitely had to reconsider the relationship because why would I want to be with someone who makes me feel insecure?
Terms/ Definitions
Phubbing: Mixture of the words phone and snubbing, used to describe episodes in which people pay more attention to their devices than they do to the people around them
Social Exchange Theory: The idea that we seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them.
Content Message: A message that communication information about the subject being discussed.
Affinity: The degree to which people like or appreciate one another. As with all relational messages. Usually expressed nonverbally.
Metacommunication: Messages (usually relational) that refer to other messages, communication about communication
Self-disclosure: The process of revealing information about one self that is significant and would not normally be known by others.
Altruistic lies: Deception intended to be unmalicious or even helpful to the person to whom it is told.
Examples
Interpersonal Communication- after a hard day, Megan looks forward to a conversation with her roommates, whose concern and similar experiences always make her feel better.
Mediated Interpersonal Communication- University students who use facebook typically experience less stress than their peers, especially when they consider their online friends to be supportive, interpersonally attractive and trustworthy.
Physical Touch- Researchers in one study asked couples to increase number of times they kissed each other. Six weeks later, the couples' stress levels and relational satisfaction, and even their cholesterol levels had significantly improved.
Curiosity Questions:
What surprised me most is how researchers show that upon the first meeting, the average is about three lies in the first 10 minutes. This is surprising to be how frequent we lie as humans even though it is not considered morally right.
What bothers me is the question "Can men and women be just friends?" Men were more likely to say that they secretly harbor romantic fantasies about their gal pals and they suspect the feeling is mutual. Generally the females are getting blamed for being overly and emotionally attached to their guy friends when here the response is that males are the ones to fantasize about romantic relationships with their female friends.
What confused me is the johari window. When do we use this model in our lives.