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~A Thousand Splendid Suns~ ((Chapters 21-30 (((How would our daily lives…

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    - - “”You two celebrate if you want to. But I won’t rest until the Mujahideen hold a victory parade right here in Kabul” (Fariba, pg. 153)
        
        Laila and Hakim had waited so long for peace to come in hopes that it would bring Fariba some closure, and she could mourn no longer and become full of life again. Laila and Hakim celebrate and probably feel like it’s all finally over. However, when Fariba protests the celebration, it becomes clear that Laila’s and Hakim’s dreams of leaving Kabul for a better life may never come true.
        
        Do you think the fact that Fariba refuses to celebrate and put an end to her mourning is in a way a punishment she serves to Hakim since she blames him for her sons being sent off to war?
    - - How would our daily lives and routines be different if America was engaged in war on its own land as continuously and unrelenting as was experienced in Afghanistan?
      - As war broke out, ended, and then began again under new leadership or from other countries time and time again, there has been little peace for those living in and around Afghanistan. The driver seems very cynical about Babi’s lessons on the history of their country he is trying to teach Laila and Tariq because, as most Afghani people probably felt, their history was just a sum of all the wars and bloodshed past, present, and future. There was little hope left for anyone regarding a peaceful nation.
      - “ “And that, my young friends, is the story of our country, one invader after another,” the driver said, flicking cigarette ash out the window” (Driver, pg. 146)
- - - - How do you think Mariam's and Nana's relationship would have been different had Mariam been born in the United States.
        
        "Nor was she old enough to appreciate the injustice, to see that it is the creators of the harami who are culpable, not the harami, whose only sin is being born.” (Housseni, pg. 4).
        
        I believe this shows that Mariam was conditioned from a very young age to believe that she is a burden, unwanted, unworthy, and justified in feeling guilt for her own existence. I cannot imagine feeling such burden and emotions before even truly beginning life. From the very beginning, Mariam has obstacles and biases in her path that women in Western cultures don't really have to overcome, which is heartbreaking.
        
        “Like a compass needle that points north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman.” (Nana, pg. 7)
        
        In this quote, Nana is expressing the man's, namely Jalil, failure to accept responsibility for his actions. She expresses the frustration in having to accept that the woman will always take the blame and even be punished or abandoned for it. It saddens me to think there are women in other cultures who do not have the freedom to live their lives in justice and equality--something we sometimes take for granted.
        
        Why does Nana feel that a man will always place blame on the women and how does it affect her relationship with Marium
        
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- - - - Chapters 31-40
        
        “ They laughed like this, at each other’s reflection in the mirror, their eyes tearing, and the moment was so natural, so effortless, that suddenly Mariam started telling her about Jalil, and Nana, and the jinn” (Housseini, pg. 255).
        
        This is one of the first moments that Mariam and Laila probably felt a connection and acknowledged one another as partners in an unbearable situation rather than two women at odds with each other. Something as simple as Laila’s baby, Aziza, passing gas seemed to make each of them see the humanity of the woman behind the circumstances. Mariam finally found a confidant and was able to start talking about her past instead of keeping it bottled up inside.
        
        How do you think it transformed Mariam’s outlook on life and her circumstances at the time once she made a connection with Laila as a confidant?
        
        “Mariam saw now the sacrifices a mother made. Decency but one. She thought rueflly on Fana, of the sacrifices that she too had made” (Housseini, pg. 287).
        
        In the moments at the hospital when Laila was in labor, Mariam had no patience for waiting or taking heed to others’ instructions. She pushed herself through the crowd and put all niceties away. In those moments, she felt like a mother to Laila, a mother who was supposed to do what it took to care for her child and grandchild no matter what. It changed her perspective about her own mother whom she had in the past thought was a selfish unloving woman. Instead, Mariam realized that her mother could have done much worse, but instead, Nana kept her, raised her, and lived the way she did for her daughter, Mariam. She made sacrifices.
        
        How would Mariam’s life have been different growing up and as a woman had she had the same perspective then on her mother’s sacrifice to stay in Herat and raise her rather than abandon her as a child?
        
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- - - - What must Mariam feel her options are regarding her relationship with Rasheem given her culture and the scars of her past?
        
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        “There was something vaguely unsettling about the way Rasheed seemed to loom over the woman” (Housseini, 84).
    - - “Now you know what you’ve given me in this marriage. Bad food, and nothing else” (Rasheed, 104)
      - How was the relationship Mariam had with Nana similar and different than Mariam’s relationship with Rasheed?
        
        Rasheed says this to Mariam in a bout of abuse towards her, blaming her for not being able to carry a child. This shows that the cycle of abuse is continuing for Mariam from the experiences from Nana throughout her childhood and into adulthood with Rasheem. Mariam is afraid of Rasheem to the point that she will do whatever he wants, even if it means physical harm to herself. She must feel trapped and like there is no way out for her because she has always been taught and shown that she is nothing and deserving of no human decency.
    - - “Mammy was soon asleep, leaving Laila with dueling emotions, reassured that Mammy meant to live on, stung that she was not the reason” (Housseni, page 144)
      - It is clear that Mammy (Fariba) is depressed and that her family fears she may do something to hurt herself. Laila wants so badly to help her mother get through all the pain but comes to realize she herself has not been the light she hoped would bring her mother out of the darkness. It is the hopes that Afghanistan will be free one day, victorious in war, and that her sons’ sacrifices will have meant something in the end. So while Laila is relieved that her mother will live on, she is also disappointed that she was not able to be her mother’s source of strength.
      - How is Laila’s childhood affected by her mother’s focus on her sons and the war and her lack of focus on Laila as a daughter?
- - - - Summary
        
        If Laila had not been pregnant, do you think she would have agreed to marry Rasheed?
        
        During this time, Laila is contemplating whether or not to marry Rasheed after her parents had died and she realizes she is pregnant. But she decides to "endure" what she must for the sake of her child and the link that child represents to Tariq and a happy life. I think these moments are important in the book because it shows the difference between the manner in which Mariam came to be in bondage and the way that Laila came to be in bondage to Rasheed. Mariam had absolutely no choice in the matter. She was abandoned by her father and forced to marry Rashed. Laila did ultimately have a choice but made the decision to allow herself to be captive because she loved her child enough to make the sacrafice. Laila's baby gave her something to hold onto--hope. Mariam had no such crutch to get her through the pain and abuse. at least not until she formed a bond with Laila and then with Laila's children. Mariam then saw them as her family and a reason to hold on and survive.
        
        "But miraculously, something of her former life remained, her last link to the person that she had been before she had become so utterly alone. A part of Tariq still alive inside her, sprouting tiny arms, growing translucent hands. How could she jeopardize the only thing she had left of him, of her old life" (Housseni, pg. 219)?
        
        As Mariam is getting older, she yearns to learn, to go to school and get an education. While Mullah Fazulah understands the importance and desire to learn, Nana sees it as a waste of time as she already knows that the kind of life that women in their culture live is one of endurance, to just make it through the sacrifice their lives will always be to the men who oppress them. This foreshadows the theme of the entire book--that not only Mariam, but also Laila and her children end up living lives of endurance.
        
        How would Mariam's outlook on life and her further actions have changed if she would have fully understood the lesson her mother was trying to teach her?
        
        "There is only one, only one skill a woman ike you and me needs in life, and they don't teach it in school" (Nana, pg. 18).
        
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