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The subtle art of not giving a Fuck (About Happiness (happiness comes from…
The subtle art of not giving a Fuck
Feedback Loop From Hell
Don't give a fuck about feeling bad to avoid feeling bad about feeling bad
accepting negative thoughts is a positive experience
Meaning of not giving a fuck
to avoid giving a fuck about adversity and challenges, find something greater, meaningful
you are FREE to choose what to give a fuck about
being comfortable with being different
Central Idea
We have a limited number of fucks to give, so choose wisely what to give a fuck about
About Happiness
happiness comes from solving problems, through pain and FAILURE
it's not about avoiding the shit, but choosing what shit to enjoy dealing with ...
... Choose your struggle
HAPPIEST MOMENTS involve pain, struggle, anger, despair
you are NOT special or entitled
in your abilities
in your problems
stop being pressured to become exceptional
realisation that you are AVERAGE is what will push you to work hard and eventually become great
Self Awareness Onion layers
2) understanding WHY a particular emotion; source, reason
3) PERSONAL VALUES
1) understanding your emotions
QUESTION UR VALUES
2 components
Value
Metric
Good values
reality-based
socially constructive
immediate and controllable
Bad values
socially destructive
non-immediate or controllable
superstitious
SHITTY values
Material Success
Always being right
Pleasure ( which is in reality the effect of happiness, NOT its cause ), be careful of how pleasure is marketed to us
Always being POSITIVE: denial of negative emotions leads to more pbs and emotional dysfunction
how to deal with negativity : express it in a way that aligns with your values
you are ALWAYS choosing
William James experiment : believed he was 100% responsible for EVERYTHING happening in his life
your reactions to events
your reactions to your genetics and diseases, ex OCD
About certainty
Manson's law : we tend to avoid what threatens our identity
Becoming more self-critical
What would it mean if I were wrong ? identity wise
Would being wrong create a better or worse pb for myself and the others ?
What if I am wrong ?
However, Aristotle said : "it is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without 'necessarily' accepting it'
we are the architects of our own beliefs
Few interesting laws
Parkinson
Murphy
Manson
IMPORTANCE OF SAYING NO
boundaries
rejection
The DO-SOMETHING PRINCIPLE
don't wait for motivation in order to start something
ACTION > INSPIRATION > MOTIVATION > ACTION etc
do something, it can be anything
PARADOX OF COMMITMENT, and CHOICE
Committing, restricting our freedom, accepting one thing means discard the other, but it ultimately enable us to MASTER that thing and learn so many things within that field
achieve greater success in the field
discards fear of missing out
helps focus on meaningful and happy
BE careful of the consumerist idea that you should have as many diff experiences as possible