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Listening (The Value of Listening (People with good listening skills are…

- - - - Steps to Listening
        
        Attending - the process of focusing on certain stimuli from the environment
        
        Understanding - the act of interpreting a message by following syntactic, semantic, and pragmatic rules
        
        Responding - providing observable feedback to another person's behavior or speech
        
        Remembering - the act of recalling previously introduced information
        
        Listening Fidelity - the degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the message sender was attempting to communicate
  - - - Mindful Listening - being fully present with people -- paying close attention to their gestures, manner, and silences as well as to what they say
- - - - Heavy traffic can drown out speech.
      - I frequently listen to music and sometimes it obstructs my ability to listen to others.
    - - Hearing loss at old age
      - I frequently use my earbuds and I think it might be affecting my hearing.
    - - "Americans are most impressed by listeners who ask questions and make supportive statements."
    - - News items, commercials, music videos...
  - - - Pseudolistening - an imitation of true listening
    - - Selective Listening - a listening style in which the receiver responds only to messages that interest him or her
    - - Defensive Listening - a response style in which the receiver perceives a speaker's comments as an attack
        
        Ambushing - a style in which the receiver listens carefully to gather information to use in an attack on the speaker
    - - Insulated Listening - a style in which the receiver ignores undesirable information
    - - Insensitive Listening - the failure to recognize the thoughts or feelings that are not directly expressed by the speaker, and instead accepting the speaker's words at face value
    - - Consider who has control in the conversation.
    - - The key to success sometimes seems to be speaking well, but good listening skills are just as important.
- - - - Finding the thesis can help you understand the main message of the speaker.
    - - Questioning - an approach in which the receiver overly seeks additional information from the sender
    - - Paraphrasing - feedback in which the receiver rewords the speaker's thoughts and feelings
    - - Taking notes can help you remember.
  - - - Encouraging others to share their thoughts and feelings can take time.
    - - When relationship building is the goal, it can be valuable to listen for unexpressed messages.
    - - You can strengthen relationships simply by encouraging others to say more.
  - - - All of us are guilty of judging a speaker's ideas before we completely understand them.
    - - Becoming irritated with the bearer of unpleasant information may not only cause you to miss important information but also harm your relationships.
    - - You can profit from listening opportunistically to worthless communication.
  - - - Examining a speaker's evidence and reasoning may help you better understand how or even if their argument holds (logical fallacies)
    - - The acceptability of an idea often depends on its source.
    - - It's a mistake to let yourself be swayed by emotion when logic of a point isn't sound.
- - - - Advice is most welcomed when it has been clearly requested and when the advisor seems concerned with respecting the face needs of the recipient.
    - - Judgement is good when...
        
        Your judgement is genuinely constructive and not designed as a put-down.
        
        The person with the problem has requested an evaluation from you.
    - - "Maybe the problem started with the..."
      - "She's doing it because..."
      - "I think what's really bothering you is..."
    - - Agreement
        
        "You're right -- the landlord is being unfair"
      - Offers to help
        
        "I'm here if you need me."
      - Praise
        
        "You're amazing."
      - Reassurance
        
        "I'll know you'll do a great job."
      - Diversion
        
        "Let's catch a movie and get your mind off this."
      - Acknowledgement
        
        "I can see that really hurts."
- - - - What bothered you?
        
        I'm bothered by the fact that my hearing might be damaged due to how much I use my earbuds.