Please enable JavaScript.
Coggle requires JavaScript to display documents.
conflict (Steps of Win-Win Problem Solving ((7.Negotiate a solution (a. …
conflict
Steps of Win-Win Problem Solving
1.Identify your problem and unmet needs to yourself (What do you want? = “Wants” and Why do you want it? = “Needs”)
2.Make a date with them to find the right time to talk about the problem
3.Describe your problem and needs to them using I-Language
4.Ask them to paraphrase you to make sure they understand what you said
5.Ask them what they want and need (What do they want and why do they want it?)
6.Paraphrase their wants and needs to be sure you understand them
7.Negotiate a solution
a. Identify and define the conflict (Wants vs Needs)
b. Generate a number of possible solutions
c. Evaluate the alternative solutions
d. Decide on the best solutions
8.Follow-up on the solution to see if modifications are needed
Types of Conflict
goal conflict
disagree about a final outcome
example
newly wed couple want to have baby, but the wife wants baby in the future, on the other hand husbands wants baby right away
Conflict of Interest
people disagree about a plan of action or what to do in a given circumstance.
EXAMPLE
my host mom believes modern medicines are useless, but her husband is from a doctors family and knows that they works very good.one day their kids got sick and host mom did not want take her son to hospital, but host dad trying to get him to the hospital
Value Conflict
A difference in ideologies or values between relational partners
example
Many people engage in conflict about religion and politics. Remember the old saying, “Never talk about religion and politics with your family.”
Cognitive Conflict
the difference in thought process, interpretation of events, and perceptions.
example
observing the same interaction but have a disagreement about what it means
Negotiation of Selves Conflict
our identities and how we think the other person sees us conflict
example
teenager think that they have become a responsible adults, but parents think they are still their little baby.
affective conflict
we have incompatible feelings with another person.
EXAMPLE
if a couple has been dating for a while, one of the partners may want to marry as a sign of love while the other decides he/she wants to see other people. What do they do? The differences in feelings for one another are the source of affective conflict.
Conflict as Destructive
. Conflict is a destructive disturbance of the peace.
The social system should not be adjusted to meet the needs of members; rather, members should adapt to the established values
Confrontations are destructive and ineffective
Confrontations are destructive and ineffective
example
In the U.S. we like sports that have winners and losers. Sports and games where a tie is an option often seem confusing to us. How can neither team win or lose? When we apply this to our relationships, it’s understandable why we would be resistant to engaging in conflict. I don’t want to lose, and I don’t want to see my relational partner lose. So, an option is to avoid conflict so that neither person has to face that result.
Conflict as Productive
Conflict is a normal, useful process
All issues are subject to change through negotiation
Direct confrontation and conciliation are valued
Direct confrontation and conciliation are valued
example
you may not explicitly argue with your relational partners about these tensions, the fact that you are negotiating them points to your ability to use conflict in productive ways for the relationship as a whole, and the needs of the individuals in the relationship.
Conflict Management
AVOIDING/DENYING: I lose, you lose
When? Issue unimportant, No time, Winning impossible, other has power, Emotions high, Value collisions, Not enough information, Harmony worth it, It's not your problem.
Risks? Miss creative solutions, Will resurface in worse form, No closure, Self is denied, Encourages further avoidance, Unmet needs, Repressed anger.
ACCOMMODATING: I lose, you win
When? You see reason to satisfy other's needs, You want to avoid confrontation, When it's possible.
Risks? Miss creative solutions, No guarantee other's n eeds met, Encourages pattern of avoiding, Miss basic issues, Creates a new problem, Often expensive.
COMPROMISING: I lose, you lose (I win you win a little?)
When? Limited time, Winning impossible, Win Win impossible, Issues are relatively minor.
Risks? No one really satisfied, Will resurface, Miss creative solutions.
COMPETING: I win, you lose
When? You have power, Not concerned with relationship, Limited time, Issue so important the consequences worth it, Issue is urgent, Issue unimportant to other.
Risks? Other's needs unmet, Other has repressed anger, Other feels bad about self, Damaged relationship, No commitment to 'solution, Miss creative solutions.
COLLABORATING: I win, you win
Risks? Takes time, Takes trust in self and others, Takes skills in problem solving, listening, and confronting, Working on needs before solutions, Separating needs from values, Separating issues from people.
When? Issue important to both, Relationship important, Issue is complex, Creative solutions needed, Future commitment needed.
definition
Conflict is the expressed struggle between two or more interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, limited resources and interference from the other party in achieving their goals