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Foundations of Relationships (Social exchange theory (A weighing of the…
Foundations of Relationships
Distinguishing Personal vs Social Relationships
Personal Relationships: Meet emotional, relational, and instrumental needs, as they are intimate, close, and interdependent relationships such as those we have with best friends, partners, or immediate family.
Social Relationships: Occasionally meet our needs and lack the closeness and interdependence of personal relationships. Examples of social relationships include coworkers, distant relatives, and acquaintances.
Another way to distinguish the two is asking yourself if your relationship with the individual is voluntary
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The 10 Stages of Relational Interaction
Integrating Stage: Two people’s identities and personalities merge, and a sense of interdependence develops.
Bonding Stage: Includes a public ritual that announces formal commitment.
Intensifying Stage: We indicate that we would like or are open to more intimacy, and then we wait for a signal of acceptance before we attempt more intimacy.
Differentiating Stage: People may try to reboundary some of their life prior to the integrating of the current relationship, including other relationships or possessions.
Experimenting Stage: Where people exchange information and often move from strangers to acquaintances, to the “sniffing ritual” of animals.
Circumscribing Stage: Communication decreases and certain areas or subjects become restricted as individuals verbally close themselves off from each other.
Stagnating Stage: The relationship may come to a standstill, as individuals basically wait for the relationship to end.
Initiating stage: People size each other up and try to present themselves favorably.
Avoiding Stage: A way to end the awkwardness that comes with stagnation, as people signal that they want to close down the lines of communication.
Terminating Stage: Can occur shortly after initiation or after a ten- or twenty-year relational history has been established.
Social exchange theory
A weighing of the costs and rewards in a given relationship.
When we do not receive the rewards/outcomes expected we typically tend to think negatively of the relationship, or feel underbenefited.
Rewards are outcomes that we get from a relationship that benefit us in some way, while costs range from granting favors to providing emotional support.
Interdependence: Refers to the relationship between a person’s well-being and involvement in a particular relationship.
Communal Relationships: Members engage in a relationship for mutual benefit and do not expect returns on investments such as favors or good deeds.
We become more aware of the costs and rewards balance when a relationship is going through conflict.
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The three Primary Relational Dialects:
Autonomy-Connection: Our need to have close connection with others as well as our need to have our own space and identity.
Openness-Closedness: The desire to be open and honest with others while at the same time not wanting to reveal every thing about yourself to someone else.
Novelty-Predictability: The idea that we desire predictability as well as spontaneity in our relationships.