Foundations of Relationships (Social exchange theory (We become more aware…
Foundations of Relationships
The three Primary Relational Dialects:
Novelty-Predictability: The idea that we desire predictability as well as spontaneity in our relationships.
Openness-Closedness: The desire to be open and honest with others while at the same time not wanting to reveal every thing about yourself to someone else.
Autonomy-Connection: Our need to have close connection with others as well as our need to have our own space and identity.
Social exchange theory
We become more aware of the costs and rewards balance when a relationship is going through conflict.
Communal Relationships: Members engage in a relationship for mutual benefit and do not expect returns on investments such as favors or good deeds.
Interdependence: Refers to the relationship between a person’s well-being and involvement in a particular relationship.
Rewards are outcomes that we get from a relationship that benefit us in some way, while costs range from granting favors to providing emotional support.
When we do not receive the rewards/outcomes expected we typically tend to think negatively of the relationship, or feel underbenefited.
A weighing of the costs and rewards in a given relationship.
The 10 Stages of Relational Interaction
Terminating Stage: Can occur shortly after initiation or after a ten- or twenty-year relational history has been established.
Avoiding Stage: A way to end the awkwardness that comes with stagnation, as people signal that they want to close down the lines of communication.
Initiating stage: People size each other up and try to present themselves favorably.
Stagnating Stage: The relationship may come to a standstill, as individuals basically wait for the relationship to end.
Circumscribing Stage: Communication decreases and certain areas or subjects become restricted as individuals verbally close themselves off from each other.
Experimenting Stage: Where people exchange information and often move from strangers to acquaintances, to the “sniffing ritual” of animals.
Differentiating Stage: People may try to reboundary some of their life prior to the integrating of the current relationship, including other relationships or possessions.
Intensifying Stage: We indicate that we would like or are open to more intimacy, and then we wait for a signal of acceptance before we attempt more intimacy.
Bonding Stage: Includes a public ritual that announces formal commitment.
Integrating Stage: Two people’s identities and personalities merge, and a sense of interdependence develops.
Distinguishing Personal vs Social Relationships
Another way to distinguish the two is asking yourself if your relationship with the individual is voluntary
Social Relationships: Occasionally meet our needs and lack the closeness and interdependence of personal relationships. Examples of social relationships include coworkers, distant relatives, and acquaintances.
Personal Relationships: Meet emotional, relational, and instrumental needs, as they are intimate, close, and interdependent relationships such as those we have with best friends, partners, or immediate family.