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Nonviolent Communication NVC (Key concepts (Proper terminology - I feel vs…
Nonviolent Communication NVC
Key concepts
Proper terminology - I feel vs. I think
we cannot 'feel' about other people behaviour, we think
Taking responsibility for our emotions
No one can make me feel sth
WE get triggered by the situation
Understanding there is a Reason for Actions
all actions are driven by the desire to meet a need
any uncomfortable feeling is unsatisfied need
We all have basic needs
'Natural Hygiene' practise
Needs are universal
So, identifying needs is out key to connection
Empathy - connection
When someone feels heard, they soften
Openness to outcome
Be prepared to hear 'No' to the request, it is not a demand
Perspective shift thinking
What a person says 'yes' to?
What would make life more wonderful?
NVC is not passive - guessing what others think
attempt connection with an open channel (no need to be always right)
to see others as a human being but not an enemy
Inwards giraffe & outward giraffe
U did not clean up ur dishes again! - When I hear that, I feel embarrassed. What I would like is understanding.
turning in to oneself
self-empathy
U did not clean up ur dishes again! - Are you upset because you like ordering cleanliness in the space? I sense you really value those.
turning in to the other
empathy
we need both
Conflict resolution
Observation: objective without evaluation
Feeling: what is alive IN YOU?
When I saw that, I felt frustrated
Need: where does the feeling come from?
Do not tie in any person, place, time, action or object to the need
I feel this way because I need to be heard
Request
Connection Request
Reflection Request
Confirmation that message sent was message received
Would you be willing to reflect back to me what you heard me say?
What did you hear was important to me? I want to make sure I was clear.
Feedback Request
How are you feeling hearing what you just heard?
Would you be willing to brainstorm a solution with me?
Solution Request
Not a demand, others' free will, invitation to participate
How NVC works
Dissolving tension through empathy
Empathy is the key to connection in relationship
Consensual request support progress on behalf of both parties
Self-Empathy, empathy, honest self-expression