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Theme: The destructive nature of unaddressed mental health problems.…
Theme: The destructive nature of unaddressed mental health problems.
"...because her daughter suffered from the same tenacious worry streak...She was a worst-case scenarist on a grand scale" (104).
Moving to Missouri from New York triggered Amy's anxiety
Perhaps because she no longer felt comfortable and in control because of the change of environment
Although she was writing in her diary for the sole purpose of the police finding it and believing Nick was guilty, Amy's anxiety was real about moving states as she likes to be in control. This was an unfamiliar setting for her.
"I get frightened now, sometimes, when my husband gets home" (204)
"My checklist for today - one of the many checklists I've made over the past year - sits beside me in the passenger seat, a spot of blood right next to Item 22: Cut myself"(219)
It takes a lot of discipline to plan something so concise and exact, and also to cut yourself deep enough to create the look of a crime scene.
Amy would have to be deeply unhappy to go to such extremes and frame Nick for her murder.
Also took a lot to plan out how she would make Hilary seem like a stalker.
"They get to be perfect without even trying, without even facing one moment of existence, while I am stuck here on earth, and every day I must try, and every day is a chance to be less than perfect" (222).
Amy feels she has pressure of living up to the seven miscarried babies before her. This is an unrealistic way to live and demonstrates deep self-esteem issues as she feels she must be perfect. Perfectionism can also be very damaging to one's mental health.
She relied on Nick to be feel human and loved. She pretended to be someone she wasn't, for years, to feel accepted. This is an example of low self-esteem, but also a personality disorder.
Hilary believes Amy wanted everyone to think that she was perfect. Amy had to do something about Hilary because as her friend, she got to know her and discover that Amy isn't perfect.
Perfectionism
Anxiety
OCD
Many of the diary entries were fake.
Amy lied about Tommy O'Hara raping her to get back at him for not wanting to spend time with her (277).
Also lied about Hilary Handy stalking her. She bought all the clothes for Hilary and also threw herself down the stairs to make it look like Hilary was obsessed with her. This was all small reasons, such as Hilary forgetting to wait for Amy after class (292).