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Breakthrough Call Script and Questions, My teenager is achieving…
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My teenager is achieving academically but is really bored and switched off. They feel it is a total waste of their time.
They want to learn but are not having to think - the work is too easy for them - their desire to learn is not being satisfied.
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They don’t feel great about themselves and therefore have handed over ownership of their learning to the school rather than get in the driving seat.
Symptoms
Questions
So where in life does your teenager have a challenge where they have to push on through and fail to reach the outcome?
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What is your teenager passionate about in life at the moment other than gaming, social media or sport?
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My teen is getting into a lot of trouble, lots of behavioural points, detentions and I’m constantly having to go in and talk with their teachers.
Symptoms
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They can’t follow the teacher and so they get distracted and then start talking or messing about with their mates.
They don’t understand how they feel - they know something is wrong but can’t make sense of their emotions.
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They are not motivated to care about their grades as they don’t see them as relevant - they are not buying into the external rewards.
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They don’t have a huge number of friends so they feel isolated and so they don’t want to go in. They don’t feel there is anyone who thinks like them at school.
Symptoms
They have something they really want to do - pursue a passion - but they don’t feel able to express it at school or with their peers.
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They don’t believe anyone would like them because they can’t see anything that is good about themselves.
They don’t want to get rejected and therefore they are not opening themselves up to potential friendships.
They can’t identify with anyone because no-one seems interested in anything other than football or snapchat. They want purpose and depth but everything is so shallow.
Questions
Does your teen have a community around them, either offline or online that they are able to talk about their passion with?
Is there anyone in their life who is helping them to develop and learn through their passion or is their passion not being nurtured?
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I can’t get them to be interested in anything other than gaming. They are on it all the time and don’t really communicate with me anymore.
Symptoms
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They don’t feel like they have energy to do anything - so they slip into the catatonic state because it is easy and it is expected of them.
You expect them to game and so they do! Time to change your intentions! Fallen into bad habits of you using it as reward/punishment.
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There is a lot of tension in the house because they are really not happy and that comes out as anger especially towards me.
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I don’t have any choices available to me - they have to stay in school. I don’t have support around me.
Symptoms
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You are ignoring the real choice/decision to be made which is about my teens mental wellbeing and happiness and chance at success in life and not about school.
Questions
Why do you think you don’t have any choices - maybe we can get clearer on your choices you think are available to you?
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Are you sure you are not just telling yourself you don’t have a choice because that is easier than making one and taking action?
What is the real choice you have to make here - you taking action and being proactive to help your teen or you not taking action and leaving them in a situation where you know they are not going to thrive?
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I don’t feel I’ve got what it takes to do what I need to do - take them out of school, change my lifestyle to empower my teen.
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I am not sure I have the skills to support them as they are so angry all the time and that is making me angry.
Symptoms
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Questions
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Do you build in time to reflect, apologise and debrief when you have both lost it together?
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