They want to learn but are not having to think - the work is too easy for them - their desire to learn is not being satisfied.

They have no energy - boredom breeds apathy

They feel powerless - as though they are being controlled.

They feel totally as though they don’t matter - no one is interested in THEM.

They don’t feel great about themselves and therefore have handed over ownership of their learning to the school rather than get in the driving seat.

They are bored - work is too easy or too hard to access.

They can’t follow the teacher and so they get distracted and then start talking or messing about with their mates.

They don’t understand how they feel - they know something is wrong but can’t make sense of their emotions.

They feel stupid so better to be ‘disruptive through choice’ than stupid by default.

They are not motivated to care about their grades as they don’t see them as relevant - they are not buying into the external rewards.

Would you say that your teen is learning how to have a victim mentality?

What do they have in their life that they are excelling at?

Is their internal talk more negative than positive?

What does your teen have in life that they care about?

External rewards are not working so does your teen have any internal motivation?

They have something they really want to do - pursue a passion - but they don’t feel able to express it at school or with their peers.

They feel insecure and have a low self esteem.

They don’t believe anyone would like them because they can’t see anything that is good about themselves.

Does your teen have a community around them, either offline or online that they are able to talk about their passion with?

Is there anyone in their life who is helping them to develop and learn through their passion or is their passion not being nurtured?

Where are they currently finding purpose to their life?

How are they managing to find connection with peers at the moment?

What strategies do you currently have in place to help them build their self worth?

They feel lost - like they no longer know who they are. Gaming fills that void.

They feel depressed and gaming gives them that dopamine rush.

They don’t feel like they have energy to do anything - so they slip into the catatonic state because it is easy and it is expected of them.

You expect them to game and so they do! Time to change your intentions! Fallen into bad habits of you using it as reward/punishment.

It is the only way they feel they are connecting with their friends - it feels safe for them.

When was the last time you felt your teen knew they really were as THEM?

Outside of gaming what are they doing or interested in pursuing?

Do you ever see them get excited about anything?

What opportunities do they have in their life to do something other than gaming?

How are you showing them that you believe they are special?

So where in life does your teenager have a challenge where they have to push on through and fail to reach the outcome?

What is your teenager doing at the moment that gives them a strong sense of meaning and purpose?

What is your teenager passionate about in life at the moment other than gaming, social media or sport?

How is your teenager currently getting validation of who they are?

In what way do you know they are bored - how is this coming out in their behaviour?

They no longer are connected with their switch.

They have no time to explore their passions.

They’ve lost their way.

They have no meaning or purpose in their lives right now.

They are not feeling valued or valuing themselves as they are not making themselves a priority.

When was the last time you saw your teen do something that made them light up?

What is the biggest block to your teenager exploring their passions?

Do they have any passions that they are connected with?

What do they have in their life that they can look forward to?

What is their level of self care like at the moment?

You are feeling guilty.

You are feeling lost and powerless.

You are placing your own feelings of inadequacy on to them.

You are not able to listen to them - you are being defensive.

You are not hearing what they are trying to tell you.

What are you doing to make sure you don’t start to feel the overwhelm of guilt?

Have you got a passion that you are pursuing at the moment?

Do you ever find yourself being defensive because you feel inadequate?

Who else do you have to support you when it comes to solving this problem?

Do you feel you are ready to hear what they are trying to tell you?

You don’t want to see the action you need to take because you are not ready.

You haven’t yet discovered the choice that is aligned with what you really want to do.

You don’t like to ask for help.

You are scared - what if you decide something and it gets worse.

You are ignoring the real choice/decision to be made which is about my teens mental wellbeing and happiness and chance at success in life and not about school.

Why do you think you don’t have any choices - maybe we can get clearer on your choices you think are available to you?

Do you feel unable to ask for help?

Maybe there is a choice that you just don’t know about yet - how much research have you done?

You are doubting yourself - this is a limiting belief holding you back. I don’t have what it takes.

Your traditional and old school thinking is getting in the way.

You just can’t see the roadmap

You are fearful of being judged

You fear failing.

What is it that you think you have to do to solve this problem?

What is holding you back?

Are you aware of your own limiting beliefs?

What do you think will happen if you do what you feel you need to do?

What will be the outcome if you don’t do what you need to do?

You are assuming you need skills that you don’t have.

You are focusing in on what you don’t have rather than what you do have.

Your self doubt is clouding your decision making.

You are worried about your anger.

You are too afraid to take action.

What do you do when you get angry - do you have a strategy to cope with that?

Are you ready to change your own mindset so that your own limiting beliefs do not become theirs?

What skills exactly do you think you need to have that you don’t have?

What do you currently do when they get angry?

Do you build in time to reflect, apologise and debrief when you have both lost it together?

Your own fear of failing is actually stopping you take action so you can succeed.

You’ve become hooked into the old school thinking that if they don’t do well at school they won’t succeed.

You are living through your worse nightmare (what if…?) rather than being grounded in your reality of NOW.

You are not aware of the wealth of possibilities that exist for your Gen Z teen - they could be making money tomorrow and have financial freedom before they even leave school.

You are thinking about your teen’s future through your lens - what about what they see for their future?

How ready are you to start to look at your own fears of failure?

Do you have any personal growth opportunities that you are involved in at the moment?

What positive strategy do you have in place to make sure that you don’t let them down?

Is it easy or difficult for you to relate to the future that they want?

Are you putting your own fears on to them making them feel that they have no hope?