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Communication Climate (Gibb elaborates on six patterns of behavior in a…

- - - - Vivien and Laverne live together. Suppose further that Vivien is irritated by one of Laverne's personal habits—say, leaving dirty dishes in the sink. In place of calling Laverne a slob, an evaluative behavior, Vivien could describe how or why the unwashed dirty dishes create a problem.
  - - - Vivien might seek input from Laverne by asking, "What do you think is a good way to take care of the dishes?" This open up a range of choices and shares decision making. By using a problem-orientation, control is shared and each has a voice.
  - - - Spontaneous responses to problems disclose true feelings and motives. Being spontaneous also means refraining from trying to manipulate others.
  - - - Gibb (1999) suggests that when we respond to others with empathy, we signal that we acknowledge and accept their feelings.
  - - - When Vivien is falling prey to the tendency toward certainty, for instance, Laverne hears phrases such as: "You must clean up those dirty dishes, right now!" The words "must" and "now" and the issue of a command to Laverne are examples of certainty. But, how would the dynamic of their relationship change if Vivien qualified the statement by phrasing it this way? "When you get a chance, I would like it if you cleaned up the dishes."
  - - - Vivien should resist the temptation to claim that the tidier person is the superior person. So, Laverne should also refrain from judging Vivien as being overly concerned with or even ridiculous about the matter of neatness.