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Communication climate (supportive communication (describe rather evaluate,…
Communication climate
supportive communication
describe rather evaluate
Problem Orientation Instead of Control
Spontaneous Instead of Strategic
Empathy Instead of Neutrality
Equality Instead of Superiority
Provisional (Flexible) Instead of Certain
Implications for Communication
Recognize and Change Patterns of Communication for Effective Relational Maintenance
Become Aware of Patterns of Communication That Contribute to Stability and Well-Being
Gottman and Levenson (2000)
videotape of married couples having argument
When the ratio of negative to positive communication falls to 4 to 1, a relationship is in deep trouble.
Pearson (1991)
positive distortion.
romantic relationship
practice a kind of benign blindness that allows us to overlook negative qualities.
Change Patterns of Communication to Affirm and Support One Another
By sharing tasks and responsibilities, partners know that they can count on one another and build a sense of interdependence and equality
defensive communication climate
developed to analyze the dynamics of small-group interaction
applied to examine the stability and well-being of interpersonal relationships
feel defensive when feeling under attack
devotes a significant amount of personal energy to self-protection
six patterns of behavior in a relationship that evoke defensive reactions
Evaluation: When we perceive that someone is judging
Control
Strategy: When we perceive that someone is trying to manipulate us or to conceal or disguise his or her true motives
Neutrality: When we perceive that someone is indifferent to our feelings and unconcerned about our welfare
Superiority: When we perceive that someone assumes that he or she has a higher status or worth than we do or acts in a unilateral manner that shuts out feedback
Certainty: When we perceive that someone holds an unyielding and dogmatic position that is not open to dialogue
Confirming and Disconfirming Climates
confirming climate
messages that demonstrate our value and worth from those with whom we have a relationship
disconfirming climate
receive messages that suggest we are devalued and unimportant
typically characterized by causing defensiveness.
escalatory conflict spiral
when things spiral out of control