Please enable JavaScript.
Coggle requires JavaScript to display documents.
What I have learned from past relationships -Read clockwise (Mélissa …
What I have learned from past relationships
-Read clockwise
Julie
Switzerland
15-20 year old
BEST LOVE EVER
Amazing love story - so grateful!
We still get on very well and love our story
I became an emotional burden when had no home anymore, my boyish needs - was never enough love/attention
We grew apart with time - when I lived in Germany 1 year
Strong love, mutual respect
She had peculiar parents - ended up becoming a rebel
What I learned
amazing childhood love
innoncent - we didn't know what cheating/lying was during our relationship
we learned about cheating after breakup (I cheated on Céline, Samantha, Mélissa)
today we are still similar (although we have different standards)
Community life
Rebell way - living adventure
Fighting with norms
looking for the one love
Mélissa
Switzerland
21-22
PLEASANT
Soft - good person
Stable person - not extreme like me
Family values
Very Swiss - narrow minded - boring
Intelectually dull
Very bad at conversation and socializing
She says my big quality is that I'm myself
I was too young and hectic - I'd appreciate her more today
What I learned
I should take better care of my partner
Communicate with kindness, with love
Don't judge so fast - love more
I'm not fond of the swiss gossip (narrow minded)
I learned to think of myself first - I went on a trip with Ismael & South America - it was awesome!
I learned to let go of Julie - because Mélissa was eventually very good
Samantha
Switzerland
20-21
TEMPORARY
She knew what she wanted! Holy fuck! A husband & kids right after me
Strong personality, good sense of.humour, my mentor in a way
No attraction/chemistry for her - a lot of admiration for her charisma
What I learned
not listening to my intuition resulted in a bad experience
I forgot to listen to myself, was submitted to her strength
I was questionning myself all the time, lost confidence
i was looking for a family - acceptance - they had a strong structure
I admired her too much - completely illusioned
Alejandra
Mexico
23-24
AMAZING but
DAMAGING
What I learned
her mom and my dad had similarities - manipulaiton, lying, control, verbal violence
Rigid planning: my work, my dreams, my freedom.
My emotions haven't cured ever since -
I'm stuck since 4 years
I wanted her but not her family situation & problems
I took a rational decision mostly based on fears
I was too young to get married - there was pressure from all sides and I got scared
I'm still free, still could live anywhere and would love to share the experience
my intuition was always right - I always knew about the lies before discovering them 100%
my mind tricked me, her, the relationship
many things I still don't understand - I broke the relationship before any end could naturally take place
Things don't turn out the way we plan
Believe in actions more than words or the amazing Disney she painted
I think there are many things about her I loved so much that I have too (provokes my admiration), many things I didn't like about her that I have too (provokes my fears)
I am still in a knot and need help!
I pulled her in & pushed her away many times after our breakup - manipulation/indecision
to be in good terms with the parents & respect cultural differences
her coping mechanism was "acting cute" - childish
we both had a lot of fantasy, imagination, good acting, dreaming, some lying, difficulty to sustain "perfect" image
she was a practiced lier with family & eventually with me
I'm still fascinated by her beauty, her dancing skills, the amazing connection we had, the sex, the chemistry, the "innocence", the childish fun mind
the love of my life -
I still miss her at times
after 4 years
our love was very strong/passionate/sweet/childish
we had SO MUCH in common: dancing, travelling, romantic love, crazy adventures
my silly idea of opening up the relationship - idealized freedom, coping mechanism for the distance that was awaiting
she preferred anal sex to normal - any reason why? became an addiction for both of us
her best friend Luis told me she never faced problems - always escaping, sleeping a lot
Meixi
27
I NEVER REALLY TRIED
Never wanted a relationship with her either
She became my therapist - a lot of criticism because of my rejection
I started questionning everything about myself - trusting her too much! Danger!
I liked her poised way of thinking, taking time
Fascinated about the Chinese culture & language
she was the only person who insisted/cared/took the time
I had an identity crisis at the ICRC: my dream wasn't the one I imagined
Gabriela
Brazil & Europe
24-27
I NEVER REALLY TRIED
After our strong (short) bonds (trips)
she wanted answers - a future with me
I always back out - never wanted to
A lot of incoherence, always a boyfriend around
What I learned
Friendship is worth so much more
Good communication, showing dark side, being honest
Our fears clashed - her insecurity / my fears & instability
I don't want to be alone anymore - blocked in fear
Accepting her how she is and loving her just that way
I never wanted to be with her - she was good company - my loneliness
We started as good friends for a long time
I've seen her cheat from the very beggining - I judged her but participated - convenience?
She looked like Alejandra and knew of my love for her
she was scared of not being enough for me: it was true
Aida
Switzerland
26
I NEVER REALLY TRIED
She was never my type
Very nice girl
I wasn't emotionally available
What I learned
to be lonely
Tendencies in all relationships
very strong bonds/love
very hurtful endings - always because of me
my intolerence of any "fault", "constraint" or "sacrifice"
difficulty to let go once the relationship ends (guilt & regret)
stuck ever since Alejandra (4 years now)
hard to let go in love (especially Alejandra) - insecurities and hanging on to toxic patterns/people
love: I think very highly of myself - hard to find a partner
Stephany
28
I TRIED a little
Very clear that I have issues/fears
She really knows what she wants - super clear
she has a kid, stable life, lives here, no time, no freedom