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Wellness Masterclass - B.B. (Cultivating Joy (Surround yourself with…
Wellness Masterclass - B.B.
The Three C's
Congruence
Am I living as the emobodiment of my best self?
Connection
Am I connecting with other people in a meaningful way?
Contribution
What we are giving back to the world?
What causes variablility in performance?
Neglect
Lack of conscious, intentional focus on that area.
Bring awareness - be real, what are we neglecting?
Entropy - that which is neglected and/or ignored will degrade
Dissatisfaction
Lack of appreciation
"Perfectionism" is just a fancy way to say "dissatisfaction"
Dissatisfaction is contagious - it spreads to other people AND to other areas of your life
Superiority
Do you feel like you're "better" than others? Has it stopped you from learning or growing?
Superiority is a form of closed-mindedness. It is toxic.
Do not judge others - it ruins any chances of connecting.
Have I been asking questions and showing curiosity in this area?
Overcoming Overwhelm
Set Good Boundaries
Don't let the priorities of other people overwhelm your own
Don't be a people-pleaser
Set expectations - for EVERYTHING
Explicitly stated
Firm
Consistent
No hints or passive-aggression
Confront people who can not respect your boundaries.
Be specific about the behavior, do not attack the person
"Let me be me"
3 Gateways
Give yourself permission
Explicit Requests
Blocking Time
Scheduled times to work without interruption
Setting Intentions
Be Congruent!
Be Proactive, Take Initiative
Get Very Clear about Expected Outcomes (Begin with the End in Mind)
Seeking Clarity
Who do I want to be in this situation?
What is needed here?
What will move the needle?
4 Main Areas
Who do I want to be in this situation?
Few words - often 3
Set up reminders for your words - post its, phone alarms, computer wallpapers, etc.
Create a habit - walk through doors, sit at desk, etc, triggers the question
Who do I want to be FOR OTHERS?
Specifically - for each person in the interaction
Skill Building
What are my 5 skills for my personal curriculum? Do I have them scheduled into my day.
How can I do this action in a way that brings joy and engages me?
Stress Relief
Look at the Whole Life Assessment - apply the question "Which of these areas is causing me stress? How? Why?"
Awareness can, in and of itself, help
Take time to transition
Don't just move from task to task to task without taking time to pause
Release tension, set intention
RMT - Release Meditation Technique
Take a few minutes to breathe and get in touch with your body
Where do I have physical tension?
Actively release tension
Use a mantra (if desired)
Doesn't have to be complicated, Brendon just uses the word "Release"
Can take as long as you want, 2 minutes or 2 hours
Before moving on, set intentions as to how you want the next activity to be
Several times throughout the day, not just once
Be aware of expectations
Stress is often caused by the difference between expected and actual outcomes
Be aware of unrealistic expectations
Does this expectation help me or make my life better?
Be explicit and have a conversation with those involved about what is expected by all parties.
Delegate or Find Comrades
Ask for help
Explicitly
Consciously structure support for projects
You don't have to do everything alone
Set expectations with comrades - again, explicit and specific
Cultivating Joy
Do not passively wait for joy, but actively cultivate it
Surround yourself with positivity
Positive People
Pictures or stories that bring you joy (think phone gallery)
The power plant does not HAVE energy, but it CREATES energy actively
Ask: "What can I do today that will bring me joy"
Small things - chocolate caramel pumpkin spice latte...thing
Who can I surprise today? What nice thing can I do for someone else?
Write two notes of appreciation every day
Two major trips every year
Go back through stories (journal entries, photos, etc.) to go backward and appreciate happy moments or moments of achievement.
Make special albums in your phone for Beautiful Moments, Funny Pictures, etc.
Physiology and Psychology
Sleep
Address sleep - 7-8 hours, screens off before bed (45 minutes or so), no lights, cold temps
Try not to eat before bed (dependent on goals/macros)
Nutrition
Talk to a nutritionist
Get Blood Work done
Look for food allergies
One Plate Rule - meals should all be on one plate or in one bowl (portion control)
Half of the dish should be veggies
Exercise
2 resistance training days (20 minutes), 2 cardio days (16 minutes), 1 "dealer's choice" day
Move daily - doesn't have to be hours, 15-20 minutes is enough
Exercise needs to be "intense" - get the heart rate up
Stretch/Mobility Work (frequently throughout the day)
Connection with the Body
Take time to connect with your body
Posture
Stretching
Being Present
Let Go
Meditation
Of the Past
Fondness for the past is a good thing - appreciation and recognition
Satisfaction - feelings of dissatisfaction need to be let go
Understand that who you are has been shaped by what you have done or been through
In the short-term as well - let go of that thing that happened 15 minutes ago that pissed you off or threw off your game
Connect to the breath
Not because of any mystical woo-woo, but because the breath is always present.
Rise above the Problems/Chaos - Lotus Flower
Let go of stress about the future - there is no power in worry
Be explicit - "Am I worried about things beyond my control?"
Purpose
Finding Purpose
To Live our Unique Selves
We run into problems when we mimic and follow
Do not ever apologize for this
Love
Human beings need love and care
Celebrate the uniqueness of others
Find a way to be of service to others
Consciously connect with intentions, connections and purpose
Why/How is what I'm doing helping/contributing?
Finding purpose in adversity
Accountability
Commitments
Keep a journal or record
Share goals with someone weekly/monthly/regularly
Kids
Beka
Parents
Friends
Everyone Wants More
Feeling
Depth
Expression
Service