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Kain Ramsey - Life Coaching Practitioner Diploma (Section 1 - Introduction…

- - - - Evaluate Communication Effectiveness by Evaluating Responses from Others
    - - Empowerment comes via Personal Responsibility
      - "What have you done about this problem so far?"
    - - People will not change until their desire to change is greater than their desire to remain the same
      - Growth Mindset
  - - - Environmental distractors
        
        Noise
        
        Social Media
        
        Phones/Mobiles
    - - Formulating a response instead of making sure we are hearing and understanding what is being said.
    - - Focus on what is relevant - don't go searching for pedantic information, but keep your mind on the task at hand
      - What they want, why they want it, and how they see themselves getting it.
    - - We must be sure we are understanding THEM, not what we we THINK about them.
    - - Putting yourself on a pedestal to become a "Superhuman Problem Solver" with a 3-step process and magic "quick fixes".
      - More interested in showing how adept we are are than actually helping the person in front of us.
    - - Our priorities are not others' priorities, our views are not others' views.
      - Not about "I am right, and he/she/they are wrong".
      - We are the experts of our own lives, but not the lives of others.
    - - Again setting ourselves on a pedestal or in a position that is "above" the other person.
    - - Square
      - Open
      - Leaning In
      - Eye-Contact
      - Relaxed
  - - - Confidence in who we are
      - Confidence in our ability to solve problems
      - These can only grow through practice and application
  - - - Visual
        
        Video
        
        Diagrams
      - Auditory
        
        Spoken word
      - Kinaesthetic
        
        "Learn by doing"
        
        "Get a feel" for things
      - Olfactory
      - Gustatory
  - - - Chris had fallen into drugs and alcohol, and was living with assistance. He didn't have a lot of drive to get better (he was being taken care of by the assistance) and didn't want to put in the work. He wouldn't commit to action, just looking for more "support". These are the wrong people to coach. Commitment is needed before change can happen, if the client won't do the work, w cannot help them.
    - - Cory had a stroke at a young age, and had some physical disabilities. He wanted to be a golfer. He was being treated for a speech impediment, but an issue with his confidence came up. Kain said "well, I can't treat speech impediments, but I can help the confidence problem, and maybe that will help his speech". This turned up to be true, as Kain and Cory worked together to identify his core identity and how his emotions and beliefs affected his confidence, and helped him to redefine himself, the speech impediments started to improve.
  - - - Available
        
        Mindful
        
        Objective
        
        Am I actually available, or am I distracted and is my mind elsewhere?
      - Aware
        
        Again, mindful
        
        Know where your thoughts lie and how our perspective affects the situation.
      - Attentive
        
        Consciously focused outwardly
      - Open
        
        Is the client open to us, and are we open to them?
        
        Is the other person available?
      - Receptive
        
        Are they internalizing and reflecting on what we are discussing?
        
        Are they willing to take action? Or do they just want "hacks" or "tips and tricks"?
      - Appreciative
        
        Are we being taken for granted?
  - - - Unconditional Acceptance
      - Assume the Best of People
      - People get confused by THEIR ideal self vs. EVERYONE ELSE'S ideal for them
      - People fear being judged and can internalize the judgement of others
      - Separate the person from their behaviors - I love you, but your behavior is unacceptable
    - - Are we "walking our talk"
      - We aren't here to be who the client wants us to be, but ourselves
    - - Walk a mile in their shoes
      - NOT SYMPATHY
      - Relate to their problems/situation
      - Be honest and ask questions if you can't relate
- - - - Immediacy - Paying full, undivided attention to the clients communications (both verbal and non-verbal)
      - Paraphrasing/Feedback - rephrasing what the client says in order to keep total clarity
    - - Where are you strong?
      - Where might you like to make some changes?
      - How satisfied are you currently in the weaker areas?
      - What, specifically, do you want to improve about this area? Is there a specific relationship or recurring problem?
      - How committed are you to making some changes? Should this be our #1 priority?
      - Are there other areas of your life that have been impacted in a similar way?
  - - - Self Worth
        
        Our understanding and appreciation of who we are and our intrinsic value to others.
      - Self Esteem
        
        How we feel about ourselves at any given time
        
        Do not fall into the trap of focusing on self esteem, which can lead to instant gratifications and "quick fixes" to feel better (addiction)
      - Self Image
        
        Our view of ourselves today. Who we see ourselves to be today.
      - Self Concept
        
        The ideal version of ourselves that we are pursuing. Our vision for ourselves.
    - - Fear of not being good enough...
      - These fears are learned through past experience
  - - - Always ask for permission and make sure the client knows they can choose.
      - Get clear on the difference between assets/liabilities
      - Establish priorities - what areas do you want to work on first.
      - Remember, the point here is to get some clarity.
      - Establishing habits that detract from your life allows us to find some goals and actions for future sessions.
      - Silence from the client is good. It means they are reflecting. Allow silence, give the client room to think and reflect.
      - For what purpose? And that means?
      - How does your self-worth compare between what is going well vs. what is not.
      - Define ourselves by who we are, not by what we do.
      - Establish goals, establish why they haven't already been accomplished, and how we can move forward.
  - - - What I do + How well I do what I do = My Self Worth
      - Who I am + How I Choose to Express Myself = My Self Worth
  - - - When we have multiple, similar experiences, we may grow to believe that they are a reflection of ourselves.
      - I.e. if we experience rejection multiple times, we may grow to believe ourselves to be unworthy.
  - - - Our mind filters information against our past experiences and pre-conceived notions
      - This information, when presented in close proximity, can be "blended" into one conclusion, when in reality it is many subtle conclusions/meanings