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NWL synthesis (LETTING GO OF PERFECTIONISM has been a big theme (Sometimes…
NWL synthesis
LETTING GO OF PERFECTIONISM
has been a big theme
I have had to do so much to get me out of my comfort zone that it is beginning to become second nature
Sometimes my perfectionism is less about doing things perfectly for myself and more about not showing others that I do no know how to do something
This showed up when performing my fairy story
NWL has trained me up into noticing my perfectionism and then leaning in to the discomfort and the uncertainty
I have done so many things that I did not want to do, that I was sure I did not know how to do and yet I always came out the other side
The way I deal with stress has shifted
The result of this work came out on the father module weekend where I was able to completely surrender to the present moment
LOGICAL MIND
having trouble
LETTING GO
It has been difficult for me to fully embrace these practices as I have not felt their effects in my normal waking consciousness
Of course I have had communication with plants when drinking the medicines but these experiences are few and far between. I feel it is hard to embody that when I am not getting immediate feedback
Maybe my preconceptions about what I am meant to be experiencing are getting in the way of opening to the present and letting what may come come
This has perhaps been a problem in ceremony where I have felt disappointed with the process
There have been times in this journey where I have felt true and deep connection with the plants of the forests. Yet perhaps it is not exactly what I was expecting so I dismissed it
This tendency came up during my forest initiation
Sometimes this connection to the other has been going on at a subconscious level and I have only realised afterwards
It is hard to reconcile this with what my logical mind understands
SHADOW HATES SPECIFICS
Getting specific has been the way that has best shone the light of awareness on the shadow
This is what my learning about shame has been about
Telling my
LIFE STORY
was my biggest breakthrough
The work that I did at NWL allowed me to be more open in my real life
EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN SHIT
Shadow work is about getting deeply personal to realise that it’s all impersonal.
GROUP THERAPY
is something I had no idea about and turns out to be incredibly powerful
One of my biggest insights was how everything good that has happened in my life I take for granted and think that everyone else must have had the same whereas everything bad that happened I think I must have been the only person in the world to have had to deal with it
Really reminds me of the power of gratitude
The bravery of other people is contagious
My biggest shadow is to do with shame and secrecy, I can see now why this group therapy was so powerful for me
I am slowly opening up to truth in my life
My
RELATIONSHIP WITH NATURE
has shifted
Appreciation of solitude in nature has really expanded
I have this concept in my head that the Universe isn't this mechanistic machine that I was taught about at university. Yet I think I only embody that concept when I spent some time by myself in nature. That's when it becomes obvious that reality is a living organism with its very own deep intelligence
That it is a living being means that she has to be treated like a living being. Giving offerings to the forest, singing songs to her really helped me to embody something that was only conceptual and abstracted before
DISCOMFORT WITH LEADERSHIP
This may link in with my fear of perfectionism and of being shown up publicly
Learning that the role of a leader is to step into these situations and take the risk of failing, it can be no other way
Failing is the best way to learn. I understood this at an individual level but I hadn't realised that it applied in a group and that in fact, it is better in a group
TROUBLE CONNECTING WITH PRACTICES
I have never seen myself in the role of healer
I feel that to master these practices takes, well, practice and dedication. I am not sure I will ever have the motivation and dedication to stick with them if I don't see where they apply in . my life
SELF LOVE AND SELF COMPASSION
This is a practice and not just an attitude
The inner child work really helped here
Having
DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS
is necessary
Led to me having a conversation with my dad
HEALING
Before I thought, why would I need healing? I'm very healthy
Expanding into
CREATIVITY
PSYCHIC POWERS ENVY