Elementary: I was bullied a lot and I had no one to buy me clothes, so I pretty much had one pair of everything. And so I stunk. And I had lice. I was constantly the outcast and it kind of went around. Then it went into boys teasing me and girls beating me up. I was bullied for the longest times.
Middle school: I wanted things to change when I went to the treatment center. And I was doing well , but when I went out into the world again, it started to get suck. Because, then I got assaulted again. And it was painful because I was native and was surrounded by a bunch of white people. And a lot of people said that because I loved school, it made it hard for people to be my friend.
teachers response to bullying: A lot of them didn't care to notice. I feel like they just looked the other way, which bothered me as well. // Narrative of teacher who cared and let her study in his classroom and tried to make things better for her but actually made it worse, but she didn't mind. // became close with superintendent and fainting story
high school: Freshman year was the bomb. Time i went to texas because she had a normal life. But then had to move to California and things were bad. And when i came back to the rez, people still knew me as the troubled girl. So I just focused on getting my education and leaving. Even though my friends were into skipping and stuff. And I guess i realized that the Rez was never for me.
When I lost my close friend to suicide, I feel into doing drugs and alcohol. And my other friend was really into it since he was 5. And yea when I lost my close friend, i definitely smoked a lot of weed and cigarettes and when I came down from my high i was just like "same stuff, same shit I got to deal with it". And I was just like alright I really have to make a decision of being here with this life or making a better one.
I loved school. // English teacher in freshman year gave me an award and I just loved it. And a lot of people were like "oh drugs, oh drink" and I'm just aint about that life. And even now, my friends tell me they wish they did what I did. So I feel like, showing them there's more opportunities out there.
It feels kinda lonely having this mindset, but kinda good because it shows me that what I always wanted when I was a kid was to be different. And that's what I'm doing now, so I definitely got that wish.