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Never Split the Difference pt.II, Saying NO, Black Swan :duck: - Coggle…

- - - - Accusation audit
      - Acknowledging fears/losses
    - - When negotiating prices/salary
      - Most of the time
    - - Get your point without counterpart becoming defensive
    - - Anchor them high => Offer other things
      - Low offer => Ask for other things
    - - Seems like thoughtful calculation :checkered_flag:
      - Feels serious and permanent
      - Anything less rounded
    - - Unexpected gift => Reciprocity
- - - - Suggest MY solution Himself
      - Gives Illusion of Control :fist:
      - Sounds like asking for help
      - Subject to interpretation by counterpart
      - Directly TELLLing what the problem is :red_cross:
      - Gentle way to say "NO" :no_entry:
    - - Communication without reciprocity
      - Suspend Unbelief status
      - Takes aggression out of confrontational/ close-ended request :red_cross:
      - Not Rigidly Defined
      - Indirectly educate what the problem is
        
        Directly TELLLing what the problem is :red_cross:
    - - Examples
        
        "How am I supposed to do that?" :star:
        
        "What do you hope to achieve by doing this?" :star:
        
        "Why would your company ever change from your long-standing vendor and choose our company?"
        
        "Why would you ever change from the way you’ve always done things and try my approach?" :star:
        
        "How does this look to you?" :star:
        
        "What about this works/doesn't work for you?" :star:
        
        "What caused you to do it?" :star:
        
        "What is the biggest challenge you face?"
        
        "What about this is important to you?"
        
        "How can I help to make this better for us?" :star:
        
        "How would you like me to proceed?"
        
        "What is it that brought us into this situation?"
        
        "How can we solve this problem?"
        
        "What is the objective? What are we trying to accomplish?" :star:
      - "What; How" :!!:
      - "Who; When; Where?"
        
        Get counterpart to share a fact without thinking
      - "Why" :warning:
        
        Sounds accusing :explode:
        
        Defensiveness created supports the change you are trying to get them to see :check:
- - - - "How will we know we're on track?"
      - "How will we address things if we find we're off track?"
    - - "You're right."
      - "I'll try"
    - - Not directly involved
      - Help implement agreements
      - :question:
        
        "How does this affect everyone?"
        
        "How on board is the rest of your team?"
        
        "How do we make sure they are truly on board?"
    - - 7=words; 35=voice tone; 55=body language
      - Watch if all of them match up
      - If not matched, use Labels
        
        “I heard you say, ‘Yes,’ but it seemed like there was hesitation in your voice.”
    - - Getting the other guy to agree to the same
        thing 3 times in the same conversation
      - 1) They agree to sth/give you commitment
      - 2) You label what they said; They answer "That's right". :check:
      - 3) Calibrated "How;What" :question: about implementation.
        
        “What do we do if we get off track?”
      - Examples
        
        "What are we up against here?"
        
        “What’s the biggest challenge you faced?"
        
        "What do you see as being the most difficult thing to get around?”
- - - - :alarm_clock:= prepartion
      - Hate surprises
      - Hypersensitive to reciprocity
      - Silence=opportunity to think
      - Separate negotiation | personal relationship
      - Speak :smiley:
    - - :alarm_clock: = :couple:
      - Love win-win
      - Calibrated :question: on implementation
      - Silence=anger
      - Initiate reciprocity
      - Sociable and friendly
    - - :alarm_clock: =:moneybag::
      - Silence = opportunity to talk
      - Reciprocity "Give an inch, take a mile"
      - Mirroring; Label; Summarize;
  - - - "What are we trying to accomplish here?"
      - "Let’s put price off to the side for a moment and talk about what would make this a good deal"
      - "What else would you be able to offer to make that a good price for me?"
    - - Incredibly high number
    - - Real Control Anger :anger:
      - Confident and self-control poise
        
        "I’m sorry that just doesn’t work for me"
- - - - Your ability to provide, or withhold, things counterpart wants
      - "I want your .... " => You have power
    - - Negotiator’s ability to make his counterpart suffer
      - "If you don’t fulfill your commitment/ pay your bill/etc., I will destroy your reputation"
      - Loss Aversion
      - Subtle: Label negative leverage
        
        "It seems like you strongly value the fact that you’ve always paid on time"
        
        "It seems like you don’t care what position you are leaving me in"
    - - Using other party’s norms and standards to advance your position
      - Show inconsistencies between their beliefs and actions