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Abuse, expected a higher number, "Every person’s first reaction would…
Abuse
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Probably not, I don't think it is my place.
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If she was alone, I think I would. If she wasn't, I'd tell an authority figure.
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Do you think the confrontation of an abuser can be helpful for the victim? If so, in what ways is it helpful?
Maybe
It could give closure (depending on the response of the abuser) but it might also bring up a lot of past trauma, especially if the victim hasn’t fully healed. It could be hard to deal with especially if the response from the abuser is not what the victim wants to hear.
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not surprised (note, girls only)
I'm going to guess 4 of 10 women and 3 of 10 men. I was accurate and I'm not surprised, but I wish the numbers weren’t so high.
surprised (note, boys only)
"I was surprised, I mean both statistics are very high but I thought it would be even more women just based on the stories I've heard from many females I'm friends with, it seems like the OVERWHELMING majority has experienced some form of abuse. I think the statistic must be inaccurate since it's just a generalization and I'm sure a lot of people wouldn’t come forward about it if it's being published. I'm SURE it is higher than that."
I am surprised. I honestly thought it would be higher. I think some people may experience abuse but don't consider it that, so becomes a lower number.
“2 in 10 probably. I am surprised because I had a really healthy relationship in the past and the stuff I’ve been exposed to, abuse it not something I’ve heard much about.”
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"Every person’s first reaction would be "yes of course!", but I honestly think my first instinct would be "maybe she fell" because personally my first conclusion I don’t think would be the worst conclusion, I would think of other situations before assuming she'd been abused because I would hope that wasn’t the case.
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“If it’s not your business then you shouldn’t get into it, it’s just extra inconveniences and you don’t know the full story. I wouldn’t in a grocery store, maybe if it was a more personal connection, like a coworker at work. I feel like I’m not involved enough with them "
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"It's not because they're too lazy, I feel it's because it's easier to just forget about it, you know? 'Its over, I don’t want to talk about it, I don't want to think about it, I don’t want to confront it face to face' and I think that’s probably why"
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To be honest, no probably not. Unless she came up to me first. But if she didn’t, I feel like I would take the bystander role and say to myself, 'I don't know how she got those and it's not my place to get involved here.' I think there are certain people, who are very commendable don't get me wrong, that would go up to her and maybe suggest services she could use to seek out help.
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I don’t want to close in on her especially if she’s with another person as that could be the abuser. If she was alone I’d confront her myself but if she wasn’t alone I’d probably tell an authority figure like a police officer, or maybe even a clerk at the store. I don’t want to risk her safety nor mine.
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"Maybe it's been normalized for some of them. They don't fully realize that they are being abused. They could also be scared that they will be blamed, like 'what did you do to make them so mad'"
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I would think in a lot of cases they might still have feelings for that person and don't want to see them go to jail, or they might not want anything to do with them but still don't want to see them go to jail... so they're conflicted. Although, in other cases, I might think they're afraid that the abuser will come back to hurt them even more. So being scared is a big thing as well.
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It’s a vulnerable state to be in (bringing up past trauma in front of a court). Courtroom situations are already very tense and the victim may not always feel safe sharing everything. It might not be the best environment to come to terms with trauma (facing not only the abuser but people of authority and friends)
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"I feel that someone who is abusive will abuse and not talk about it, so for the person being abused it must be very hard for them to understand. So for them to confront their abuser and talk about it can provide the victim with reasoning which may provide some closure as they know it’s not their fault they were abused.”
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It could give closure (depending on the response of the abuser) but it might also bring up a lot of past trauma, especially if the victim hasn’t fully healed. It could be hard to deal with especially if the response from the abuser is not what the victim wants to hear.
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I think it's helpful to hear it out of the person's mouth yes, as it may help justify the victims feelings and know that they aren't out of line with what they know happened.
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Out of 10 women, how many do you think to suffer from abuse in their relationship? Are you surprised by the actual statistic? (1 in 3 women, 1 in 4 men in the USA)
If you saw a woman alone with bruises all over her body in a grocery store would you step in and say something?
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