inescapable loneliness
-fear of life (fear of existing as a separate individual, fear of separation, individuation anxiety
-fear of death (fear of fusion, of engulfment) Yalom, 1980
-eliminate by moving toward giving oneself to another (fusion with another..a disolution of oneself into another)
but what happens when that another is not there?
addictive behavior / substance >> a pseudo-other, sth perceived as equivalent of another
one's surrender and abandonment themselves to a substance(commitment to a habit or a practice) >>
(1) an initial absence of another
(2) a fear of existential loneliness (enmeshied with social loneliness
(3) to replace the absence / loss of a known or unknown other
Absent Angel: an unfulfilled dream, nostagila, crucial loss, unbearable absence
pure, unconditional nature of who we are (ignored or buried under layers of forgetfulness