[Parenting Book] How to talk so kids will listen & Listen so kids will…
[Parenting Book] How to talk so kids will listen & Listen so kids will talk
Helping Children Deal with Their Feelings
Listen with full attention
Acknowledge their feelings with a word-"Oh", "Mmm", ... "I see."
Give their feelings a name
Give them their wishes in fantasy
Describe. What you see or problem
followed by a solution
Say it with a word
Talk about your feelings
Write a note
Do not say 'please'
Ask kid to repeat what we said
Ask how much time needed before kid starts
Alternatives to Punishment
Point out a way to be helpful
Express strong disapproval(without attacking character)
State your expectations
Show the child how to make amends
Offer a choice
Allow the child to experience the consequences of his misbehavior
Let Children make choices
Show respect for a child's struggle
Don't ask too many questions
Don't rush to answer questions
Encourage children to use sources outside the home
Don't take away hope
Let He own her own body
Stay out of the minutiae of a child's life.
Don't talk about a child in front of him-no matter how young the child.
Let a child answer for himself
Show respect for your child's eventual "readiness"
Watch out for too many "Nos."
Describe the problem
When possible, substitute a "Yes" for a "No", More "Yes, and ..."
Give yourself time to think.
More about advice
a) Help her sort out her tangled thoughts and feelings
b) Restate the problem as a question
c) Point out resources your child can use outside the home
Describe what you see
Describe what you feel
Sum up the child's praiseworthy behavior with a word.
Organized, flexible, courage, self-control, patient, resourceful, take initiative, perseverance
Appropriate to age
Avoid hints at past weaknesses or failures
Do not excessive enthusiam
Be prepared for lot of repetition
You must be so proud of yourself
Accept mistakes and view them as part of learning process
Freeing children from playing roles
Look for opportunities to show the child a new picture of himself or herself
Put children in situations where they can see themselves differently
Let children overhear you say something positive about them
Model the behavior you'd like to see
Be a storehouse for your child's special moments.
When your child behaves according to the old label, state your feelings and/or your expectations.