REHUGO (E)ntertainment
Minimalism
The Surprising Science of Happiness
The Power of Vulnerability
we spend time on the hunt but the hunt makes us miserable
Ryan NIcodemus
Ryan
very successful, andtrying to buy happiness
living paycheck to paycheck but also very miserable
he 's not living
Jessee Jacobs
people are like puppets
we still feel restless and are stil clawing for more
humans are wired to be dissatisfied
it's an addiction and we are being encouraed to maintane the addiction through tech nology and informatoin
Shannon Whtehead
american culture has blinders on
we are being to ld that our lives have to be perfect through social media and adbertising
Juliet schore
Partrick Rhone
we have been told that we need these things over one hundred years
he didn't know what was important
he realized that his friend was happy dispite doing exactly what Ryan did
he asked him why he was so happy and his friend told him minimalsim
Joshua Milburn
every possesion now has a purpose
he has no excess
when he has extra he needs to let go of things without value and happiness
before his parents were divorced they were perfect
when his mom left she became a crack addict and was arrested.
when his mom left she became an alchoholic
when she was sober she was great
when he graduates high school he wants to leave struggle behind
the problem is compulsory consumption, not regular consumption
we don't have to live by the template of the American dream
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the American dream is about oppurtunity and not about stuff
the acheive the american dream now getting more and more money because that is what we see on TV
Americans went on a buying spree unprecedented in human history in the 1990s
Grham Hill
we have much more space but we need more space ontop of that ot hold our stuff
this is because of the cheapness and avaliavility of products.
Tamey Stroble
she was successful and has lots of money
but she was unhappy
she was gaining a lot of weight
she decided to move to a tiny house
Jay Austin
people have started realizing that they've been tricked
Shepard Smith
he was askkng for a lot in 420 square feet
small space made much more sense
Jacqueline Schmidt
Tiny Houses have something to them
the bigger and better philosopy is changing
everybody is looking for more meaning in their lives
imagine a life with more growth happiness
he was 27 years old and the director of operations for 150 retail stores
he was in a meeting and one was from his mom but she was drunk
she found out she had stage four lung cancer
Sam Harris
how does the understanding of ourselves scientifically change how we believe we should live how a good life
once a new thing of something you have comes then the thing you now have is worthless
we are confused about what makes us happy
material posssesions are not the center of the bulseye of satisfaction
Gail Steketee
humans have strong attachment ot people who we care for
sometimes those attachments spill over to things
Colin Beavan
our society is not material enough
we are not materialistic in the trueness of the world
material gooods are too important for their symbolic system based on what advertising or marketing says about them
the status quo in fasion is driven by fast fasion
there are 52 fashon cycles in one year
they make you feel out of touch in a week to make you by more
our fashion is horrifying
everything in the home has fashionability, and according to fashion we throw things away when they are no longer fashionable
Leo Babuta
people buy to fill the void inside us
that void is not fillable by "things"
the same that makes us "happy" is destroying our environment
Colin Wright
took photos of everything he had and has 51 things
he viewed his lack of travel as a failure
he carries everything on his back he has on his back
many rich, and successful but not happy (dollar and sense successful)
Rick Hanson
Money can't buy happyness
adding physical well being doesn't make psychological well being
David Friedlander
we all need our basic needs met
we don't have control over is making more but we do control buying and having less.
for him its the ability to have financial freedom
lots of people don't find full fillment in their jobs
there is more to life than bills money and work
AJ Leon
his entire life became about WINNING
he was going to be promoted to THE job
when you realize this is your only life that changes everything
he walked into his office and started weeping
he knew he could never walk away from that money
he knew he could never live with that job
he doesn't want to be that way
so he left and decided to be a minimalist
the things he was buying weren't doing the job of making him happy
he realized the American dream wasn't his dream
Courtney Carver
she started simplifying in 2010
she decided to create a minimlaist fashion challende
she was going to wear 33 items for 3 months
she wanted to see if it made a difference
her story got written and practiced across the world
she practices challendge 333
not being prepared for every moment helps you engage with their community
it is much more communal because you ask your friends for help
she was diagnosed with MS
she thought she had to prove she was okay
she started feeling worse by trying to prove she was fine
minimmalism helped her not be stressed and it imporved the state of her body
we can focus but wwe're living when we are always moving rrom one stimules to another in seaerch of the next dopimine high
often this the next email, post, retweet,
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the average person checks their phone 150 times daily
in any major city people are gluded to their phones
this is because it's easier to be mindless read the paper update your social media, and chekc their email
the easiest way to deal with technology oberload is to turn it off
Dan Harris
most of his life was in a daydream
he became a work aholic to move up the latter
to deal with the PTSD of being a news reporter in Iraq he self medicated on drugs
as a result of this he had a panic attack on live TV
ir raised the adrenal levels in his brain
this whole escapade led him to get into mediatation
we ruminate about the past in future that presents us from conneting to the present
meditaing helps us connect to the present moment
we are very rarely focused on one thing
these things should be called distractions but their not
if the phone vibrates in his pocket then he flinches
this kills conversation and interaction
there is a constant about of high frequensy flinches and that is extremely detrimental
we have been made lab rats
meditation is the answer to that
when people asked him why he was meditating he said it made him happier
then other people started to do it as well
he asked if it was worth it to worry
the answer there is a certain amount of worry that makes sense
on the 17th time you keep worrying then you ask yourself "is this useful"
their is constructive anguish and, and nonconstructive rumination
companies used to sell to kids through the mother
now they just go thought the kid
there is a problem with process and content
the content that are being sold to kids are nasty
the culture is junk
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how live as a minimalist with a family
Minimalism isn't being a bachalore
Jimmy Carter
too many people are worshipping consumerism
identity has been defined as what we own not who we are
things don't create purpose for people
we think we need things because our society told us that
it is a value based ideal
we should want to do the best we can with the least we need
this is a ballance
the American dream should be about community
where there are no inequalitiies
he was so focused on his idea of succes (making money)
he devalued relationship and community
minimalism is about stopping the maddness
love people and use things, because the opposite never works
what is it about a big a big brain that makes us need one
we got the frontal lobe,
and prefrontal cortex
our brains got bigger so it could get new parts
it is an experience simulators
we can experience something before we do it
who has more happyness
someone who won the lottery, or a someone who became paraplegic
they have the same amount of happiness a year later
Impact bias
the simulator in your mind made you believe that things are different then they really are.
many things have less impact on their happiness then people expect
three months after a life trauma then it won't affect happiness
Happiness can be synthesized
we have a psychological immune system
this is a largely subconscious cognitive process that help us change our views of the world so they can feel better about their world
we think happiness is a thing to be found and it's not
the secret of happiness is
Step 2. Spend as much of your life in prison as you possibly can
- Make someone else really, really rich
Step 1. Accure wealth, power, and prestige then lose it.
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we believe that synthetic happiness is not of the same quality as natural happiness.
natural happiness is what we get when we get what we wanted.
synthetic happiness is what we make when we didn't get what we wanted.
we have a strong believe that synthetic happiness is inferior
synthetic happiness is just as good as natural happiness
the ability to choose what you want is the friend of natural happiness
however this is the enemy of synthetic happiness
the psychological immune system works better when we are trapped
dating vs marriage
the irreversible condition is not conducive to the synthesis of happiness
we should have preferences
we should know what we would prefer in terms of our futures
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when our ambition is bound
when our ambition is unbound
when our fears are bound
we work joyfully
we lie
we cheat
we steal
hurt others
we sacrifice things of value
we are reckless
we are cowardly
we are prudent
we are cautious
we are thoughtful
Main idea
our longings and worries are overblown because we can manufacture the commodity that we are chasing when we chose experience.
how it started
if you can't measure it it doesn't exist
lean into the discomfort of the work
connection
when you are told 37 things you do well and one thing that is an "opportunity for growth" we focus on that one thing
when you ask about
love people they tell you about heartbreak
about belonging they tell you about their most horrible experiences of exclusion
about connection they tell you about disconnection
connection is why we are here
six weeks in she discovered something that unravels connection.
it tuned out to be shame
shame
shame is the fear of dissconnection
is there something about me that would limit my connection.
this is underpinned it was vulnerability
in order for connection to happen we need to be seen.
people who have a sense of worthiness have a strong sense of love and belonging
people who have this only have it because they believe their worthy
Worthiness
what do the people that have a sense of worthiness have in common
they all had a sense of courage
courage is to tell the story of yourself with a whole heart
they had the
courage to be imperfect
compassion to be kind to themselves before others.
connection as a result of authenticity
they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were
vulnerability
they all believed what made them vulnerable made them beautiful
they talked about vulnerability being necessary and not normal or excruciating
they all had the willingness to
say "I love you" first
to do something with no guarentees
to breath through waiting for the doctor to call after your managram
to invest in a relationship that might not work out
Vulnerability
why do we struggle with it so much
we numb vulnerability
we are the most in debt, obese, addicted, and medicated adult cohort in U.S history
we cannot subjectively numb vulnerability
when we numb vulnerability we numb
Joy
Gratitude
happiness
then we are miserable
we make everything that is uncertain certain
Religion has gone from a belief in faith and mystery to be certain
there is no discourse or conversation in politics
there is only blame
blame is a why to discharge pain and discomfort
we perfect our children
they are hardwired for struggle
we are not supposed to keep our children perfect
our job is to you imperfect but you are worthy of love and belonging
we pretend
we pretend that what we do doesn't effect people
Main Idea
to let ourselves be seen vulnerably
to love with no guarentee
to practice gratitude and joy
to believe that we are enough