What I'd optimally like (Why not? (I'm happier when I don't…
What I'd optimally like
If I can only have sex with that one person...
Then mindblowingly good sex
Someone who understands my anxieties (leaves me alone sometimes)
Someone who puts work first but when I'm with them gives 95% of their presence.
Broad knowledge base. Enjoys learning.
Can contribute tangential knowledge to broaden my understanding of the world.
General knowledge of politics and world events.
Maybe I'm not ready for such a huge relationship.
It doesn't feel like freedom. It feels like a very, very nice cage. It's great, but at the end of the day it's still a cage and I'm not allowed to leave.
I can't cuddle with people when you're gone.
I can't have sex with people when you're gone.
I can't have the diverse experiences that come with different people.
You're not here, but everyone else is.
I can't be intimate with multiple people.
It's like my heart breaks every time I see you or talk to you.
I'm happier when I don't think about you.
Less painful, less guilty for not wanting to be with you.
Maybe I use sex as a way of decompressing. It's a reset. Relaxation.
You're not here. And if you were part of me still craves something else.