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Mindfulness Practitioner Course (Section 2: Core Concepts and Main Ideas…

- - - - Don't get trapped in one dimension, maintain awareness of all aspects
      - Balance in Synergy with others?
  - - - Thoughts: what we initially think
      - Perception: the meanings we attach to our thoughts
        
        Bee Sting Analogy: bee sting doesn't hurt so much at first, but afterward the pain (inappropriate response) can be really bad
  - - - Ability and Williingness to Focus on One Thing
    - - Disappointment is based on an expectation not being met, not the act/object itself
  - - - Trapped by Labels
      - Automatic Behaviors and Responses
      - Singular perspective
      - Black/white thinking
      - Blames Others for Our Shortcomings/Failures
      - External Locus of Control
      - Focuses outside our Circle of Influence
      - Unaware of Motives and Drives
    - - Creative and Aware of Labels
      - Embracive of New Information
      - Creative and Aware of Reactions and Behaviors
      - Multiple Considered Viewpoints
      - Takes Responsiblity and Ownership of Choices
      - Internal Locus of Control
      - Focus within our Circle of Influence
      - Aware of Motives and Drives
  - - - What else is going on?
  - - - Extraversion
        
        When used to get people to like you for self-validation
        or to mask insecurity
        
        Not a bad thing when honestly based on grounded interest
      - Agreeableness
        
        Motives are important again: are you agreeable because you're afraid not to be, or because you genuinely want to be?
      - Conscientiousness
        
        Rules/Regulations for the sake of not upsetting others or to "get it right", not because of genuine desire
      - Neuroticism
        
        Emotionally Unstable
        
        Irritability
        
        Being emotionally led, state is dependent on emotions
    - - Non-Judgement
      - Patience
      - Beginner's Mind
      - Trust
      - Non-Striving
      - Acceptance
      - Letting Go
  - - - Being does not equal Doing
        
        Being requires reflection and a "bigger picture" perspective
        
        What are the consequences of what I am doing?
    - - We are NOT our Thoughts
      - We CAN discipline and have control of our Thoughts
      - By becoming more mindful, we have the power to recognize our thoughts and choose our actions/reactions in relation to them
      - Suffering
        
        We suffer not because of what happens to us, but because of our Thoughts and Feelings about what happens to us
        
        Thoughts and Feelings are based on external sources (circumstances, diet, sleep, beliefs, agreements, etc.) and often go unchecked and unquestioned.
        
        Thoughts and Feelings must be examined and questioned.
        
        Examining our Thoughts and Feelings and directing them towards what we want is the goal of MIndfulness
  - - - Just want to "feel better"
      - A few tips, a few techniques, but no sustainability
    - - Too much pain, fear, bias, closed-mindedness for new seeds to take root
    - - Friends/Past Identity stop you from progressing
    - - Open-minded, accepting of new ideas, willing to enact deep personal change
- - - - Self-Confidence
      - Motives
      - Self-Worth
  - - - What is your impression of yourself in this memory?
        
        What is your impression of others?
        
        How has this impression impacted...
        
        Yourself Today
        
        Other People Today
  - - - Contentment is an attitude, not an emotion or a state of being
  - - - To evaluate things based on what we know and have experienced.
      - Limited by what we have seen and experienced...
    - - What drives and motivates?
      - To be loved and appreciated.
      - To leave a legacy.
      - To understand both the internal and external.
      - To feel valued and valuable.
    - - Emotions will, in a large way, depend upon whether we are having our values met and living in accordance with them.
      - Emotions in and of themselves are not negative...
      - Emotions are meant to alert us to when we are out of focus.
      - The lobster lives happily in its shell, until the day comes when it feels the pressure of the shell that no longer fits. It then sheds the shell, and grows/finds a new one. This is counter-intuitive to people, who will not respond to the stress and will just endure it and wait for external forces to change for them.
    - - The lobster and the human can both respond proactively to the stress. The lobster adapts, the human endures.
      - Three Levels of Confidence
        
        Ability to learn and solve problems
        
        How competent we are now.
        
        Our perceived value.
      - Many people are waiting for opportunity, unfortunately it usually shows up in overalls and looks like a lot of work.
  - - - Proverbs:
        http://www.evernote.com/l/ASSVF9koaoNGKZMUAZ1tXT_Wd7xrfGlRGEc/
      - Ecclesiastes:
        http://www.evernote.com/l/ASRjTv8b7ilJ14Q1-7d6KpFqgaMRaD5QQ7A/
  - - - Spirit and Mind intersect to form the Sub-conscious
      - Mind and Body intersect to form Emotions
      - Body and Spirit intersect to form Chi
  - - - 2) Assess the Object of your Attention
        
        3) Redirect Attention Back to Breath
        
        Again, nothing mystical about it. Focusing on something simple like the breath allows your mental bandwidth to "reset" and clear out clutter. This process of redirecting attention is the entire point of this technique, teaching you to regulate your focus on what you want to vs. whatever distractions call you. Don't be upset about it, but grateful for the opportunity to use the exercise. If meditation was easy and your thoughts didn't wander, there would be no purpose to it.
        
        Your mind will probably wander. This is normal and natural. Allow thoughts to float (or use a number of visualizations - clouds floating away, thoughts/emotions dropping through the floor, Chriz Pizzo's Kung-Fu Locomotive visual, etc.)
      - Nothing mystical or woo-woo about the breath. The breath is always there and always able to be focused upon Heartbeat is too weak/hard to sense, thoughts/emotions are tumultuous, external things are unreliable and not always available, etc.
  - - - When we become emotionally uncontrolled or out of focus. "Ungrounded".
    - - If you desire, but take no steps to fulfill that desire, the "feelings" can manifest as anticipation/excitement. Or, if it goes too long, fear and anxiety.
      - If you ignore or wrong a loved one, this causes guilt (you are not acting in accordance with your values). If you ignore it, it can lead to impatience, frustration, anxiety, or depression from not carrying out that motivation. If you try to pass blame onto someone else, anger and resentment manifest. Self-regulation allows us to see these emotions for what they are rather than blindly act on the emotions, themselves.
  - - - Visualize what we want MORE of (in an active role, what can we DO to get more of this)
        What does your head tell you? - Universal Thought
        -Rational, possibility
        What does your Heart tell you? - Universal Conscious
        -Desires
        What does your gut tell you? - Universal Mind
        -Motivations, permissions to follow desires
- - - - Often, these problems are not the REAL problem. Treating the initial problem alone is like putting a sticky plaster on an infected wound.
        
        Could the problem actually be an underlying belief?
    - - Quality of Thinking
      - Behaviors
      - Emotional Responses
  - - - Love is not a "feeling", but a choice.
      - Relationships are NOT 50/50, but 100/100
        
        When one brings 100 and the other does not, dependency is created (for either/both).
      - Signs of Codependence
        
        Q1) Are you unable to find satisfaction in your life outside of a particular person?
        
        Q2) Do you recognise unhealthy behaviours in your partner but stay with him or her in spite of them?
        
        Q3) Are you giving support to your partner at the cost of your own mental, emotional, and physical health?
    - - Disappointment Is created when expectations are not met. If we have unrealistic expectations, we WILL experience disappointment.
  - - - Confidence in our Ability to Solve Problems
      - Confidence in the Truth of Who We Are
      - Confidence in our Degree of Personal Competence
    - - We can swim back to boat, but we might get eaten.
      - We can swim to the turtles, but we might get eaten
      - We can swim to the turtles, have the experience, and go back to the boat. But we might get eaten.
      - We can go, have the experience, go back, and have a beer. This is the choice, as we can't control our circumstances anyway.
        
        This is faith, or the assumption of the BEST outcome vs. the WORST outcome.
  - - - Body
      - Attitude
      - Choices
      - Responses
      - Awareness/Focus/Understanding
      - These are the only things we can truly control, and where we must place our focus.
    - - Friends
      - Family
      - Economy
      - Weather
      - Work
      - Finance
    - - Animal Rights
      - Human Rights
      - Global Warming
      - Social Institutions
  - - - Now, perform the same exercise, but let your eyes move past the object once the focus starts to stress you. Notice how, even though the object is still in the same place, you can see and be aware of everything else.
  - - - This creates a sort of crisis.
    - - If we can help others to prioritize these motivations and challenge them to keep balance, that is the best we can do to "motivate" them. Helping them to see where they want to go and the choices available to them is the function of a coach.
  - - - Facts
        
        This is the true, unchanging truth of who we are and what we are capable of.
        
        Facts do not change based on circumstances or feelings.
        
        This is where we must base our lives.
      - Feelings
        
        Consider people who are led by feelings. They are probably on an "emotional roller coaster", Inconsistent, up-and-down. This is not sustainable.
      - Faith
        
        This is not the religious "faith".
        
        Faith is about believing that the best possible outcome will happen because of our efforts.
        
        Without knowing who we are and what we want, the truth about ourselves, faith is useless.
  - - - Loving
      - Caring
      - Authentic
      - Responsible
      - Effective
      - Passionate
      - Giving
      - Honest
      - Sincere
      - Fun
    - - Suicidal
      - Criminal
      - Failure
      - Soldier
      - Success
      - Alcoholic
      - Drug Addict
      - Athlete
    - - Anxious
      - Angry
      - Depressed
      - Outspoken
      - Confrontational
- - - - Conditional acceptance
      - You get X, I get Y
    - - Quality of relationships are based on quality of trust, which is only developed over time.
    - - Maturity
        
        Firmly grounded in who they are
        
        Not subject to their emotions or wants/desires
      - Decisiveness
        
        Commitment
        
        Indecision is based on fear
        
        When someone's decisions are based on fear, their main concern is self-preservation
      - Consistency
        
        If someone has been consistent, it is easier to trust that they will continue to be
        
        Inconsistency often shows hypocrisy
      - Strength
        
        Not physical strength, but strength of character
      - We must also convey these traits
  - - - Love
        
        Love is not what you do, but who you are.
        
        If you love, you will automatically seek to understand and know better
      - Honor
        
        Honor is not respect
        
        Kain's example: Chooses to honor his wife with the way that he presents himself to others. He chooses not to frequent bars and such because it may adversely impact the way people view him and, subsequently, his wife.
      - Self-Control
        
        Lack of discipline leads to fear-based living
        
        MIndful choice of response as opposed to reacting
      - Responsibility
        
        I am responsible for me, you are responsible for you.
        
        People will try to dump their problems on you. This must be avoided.
        
        Every problem needs an owner...who is the owner?
        
        Responsibility for our own reactions, thoughts, and emotions.
      - Truth
        
        Most avoid truth
        
        Generally, the truth is the most potentially hurtful. That does not mean it is not necessary.
        
        Telling the truth means staying true to yourself. "Holding it in" means you're not being authentic, which damages trust.
      - Faith
        
        Faith is a choice and an action. Faith is the expectation that the best or desired outcome will come to pass.
      - Vision
        
        If the people in a relationship are not working toward a shared vision, then the relationship will suffer.
        
        Communication and honesty is very important here.
        
        Shared vision allows teamwork and synergy, which allows more time to spend with each other doing good things.
  - - - They know best
      - Unconditional Acceptance
    - - Judgement, prejudice and assumption
      - We know best
    - - For what purpose?
      - And that means?
  - - - Then, actually approach them and start a conversation.
  - - - What I mean
      - What I say
      - What you hear
      - What you assume
    - - Thoughts
      - Feelings
      - Beliefs
      - Opinions
  - - - Think of a conversation that may have gone poorly, or not as well as we would have hoped. Try to get back into that experience. Feelings, thoughts, assumptions...
        
        Use one (or a few) words to articulate the feelings involved
        
        Now, step back out and view the conversation from a third perspective.
        
        Step back yet again, see you seeing the conversation
        
        Now how do you feel? More objective?
        
        Now, step into one of the other participants in the conversation and try to see things from their perspective. Now how do you feel?
        
        1 more item...
    - - Karen says the technique would calm her and make her more objective, and could now be done without a "guide" or "teacher" performing it.
      - Karen now understands that she has choices as to her perspective - 1st, 2nd, and 3rd-person.
        
        This allows us to gain a more balanced approach to situations.
      - Chunking Up/Down - why was Karen afraid?
        
        For what purpose:
        
        Doesn't want to be disliked
        
        Doesn't want to cause conflict
        
        For what purpose?
        
        Causes discomfort
        
        and that means?
        
        1 more item...
- - - - How does it work?
      - How did it come to be?
      - How does it benefit you and others?
      - What are some more intricate details I've never noticed?
      - How does this interact with other things?
      - Can I research this thing further to answer these questions better?
  - - - Step 1: Check in with yourself.
        
        How am I feeling?
        
        What am I doing?
        
        Where am I?
        
        Adopt a good posture and bring your awareness inward.
        
        What thoughts/feelings/sensations do I have? Turn toward these things and acknowledge them without trying to change them.
      - Step 2: Re-Focus
        
        Follow the breath. Slow, deliberate breathing. Notice the sensations.
      - Step 3: Expand the Focus
        
        Expand the focus on the breath to a focus on the entire body. Posture, facial expression, discomfort, tension and breathe into them, but don't try to "fix" them.