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Managing Conflict in Interpersonal Relationship (approaches to Conflict…
Managing Conflict in Interpersonal Relationship
understanding interpersonal conflict
Definition of Conflict
An expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive, incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other parties in achieving those goals
approaches to Conflict
Gender and conflict style
conflict dilemmas
commonalities
Origins of gender differences
Cultural Influences on Conflict
characteristics of an Assertive Message
share your interpretation of the other person's behavior.
Describe your feelings.
Describe the behavior in question
Describe the consequences.
State your intentions.
Conflict in Online Communication
Disinhibition
Permanence
Delay
styles of expressing conflict
Nonassertion
: The inability or unwillingness to express one's thoughts or feelings.
indirect communication
: Hinting at a message instead of expressing thoughts and feeling directly.
Passive aggression
: An indirect expression of aggression, delivered in a way that allows the sender to maintain a facade of kindness.
direct aggression
: A message that attacks the position and perhaps the dignity of the receiver.
Assertive communication
: A style of communicating that directly expresses the sender's needs, thoughts, or feelings, delivered in a way that does not attack the receiver.
Managing Interpersonal Conflicts
Methods for conflict resolution
Compromise
: An approach to conflict resolution in which both parties attain at least part if what they seek by giving something up.
win-win problem solving
: An approach to conflict resolution in which the parties work together to satisfy all their goals.
lose-lose problem solving
: An approach to conflict resolution in which neither party achieves its goals.
win-lose problem solving
: An approach to conflict resolution in which one party reaches his or her goal at the expense of the other.
Steps in Win-win Problem Solving
Step 1: Identify your problem
Step 2: Explore your unmet needs.
Step 3: Make a date.
Step 4: Describe your problem and needs.
Step 5: Check your partner's understanding
Step 6: solicit your partner's needs.
Step 7: Check your understanding of your partner's needs.
Step 8: Discuss ways to meet your common goals.
Identify and define the conflict
Generate a number of possible solutions.
Evaluate the alternative solutions.
Decide on the best solution
Step 9: Follow up on the solution.
Communication Climates in Interpersonal Relationship
confirming and disconfirming Message
Confirming messages
: Actions and words that express respect and show that we value the other person.
Acknowledge the person's thoughts and feelings.
show that you agree.
show recognition
Disconfirming messages
: Words and actions that express a lack of caring of respect for another person.
Contempt
: Verbal and nonverbal messages that ridicule or belittle the other person.
Defensiveness
: Protecting oneself by counterattacking the other person.
criticism
: A message that is personal, all-encompassing, and accusatory.
Stonewalling
: Refusing to engage with the other person.
How communication climates develop
relational spiral
: A reciprocal communication pattern in which each person's message reinforces the other's.
Avoidance Spiral
: A communication spiral in which the parties slowly reduce their dependence on one another, withdraw, and become less invested in the relationship.
Escalatory Spiral
: A reciprocal pattern of communication in which messages, either confirming or disconfirming, between two or more communicators reinforce one another.
Communication climate
: The emotional tone of a relationship as it is expressed in the messages that the partners send and receive.
What bothers me is that when people start to have arguments, how could them still keep in calm.
If I said something very bad about the argument, do I still have a chance to regret?
What makes me interested is: the way to solve problem for win-win goals.
My girlfriend and I are having the argument, we are in the cold war right now. Both of us don't want to start the conversation, and I know that if I start to talk, it will go worse for sure. I can't keep calm when I get into a fight. No way.