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Managing Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships (Understanding…
Managing Conflict in Interpersonal Relationships
Understanding Interpersonal Conflict
Perceived incompatible goals
Interdependence
Perceived scarce resources
Expressed Struggle
Communication Climates in Interpersonal Relationships
Communication Climate: Emotional tone of a relationship as it is expressed in the messages that partners send and receive.
Confirming and Discomfirming Messages
Confirming Messages: Actions and words that express respect and show that we value other person
Acknowledge person's thoughts and feelings
Show that you agree
Ex) Saying "I can see why you are so angry" etc
Show Recognition
Ex) Friend might feel ignored if you don't return text
Disconfirming Messages: Words or actions that express a lack of caring or respect for other person
Partners show contempt
Contempt: Verbal and nonverbal messages that ridicule or belittle the other person
Partners are defensive
Partners criticize each other
Ex) "You're lazy" is criticism
Criticism: Message that is personal and accusatory
One or both partners engage in stonewalling
Stonewalling: Refusing to engage with other person
How Communication Climates Develop
Escalatory Spirals: Reciprocal comm pattern where messages (confirming or disconfirming) between 2+ communicators reinforce one another
Avoidance Spiral: Comm spiral where parties slowly reduce their dependence on one another, withdraw, and become less invested in relationship
Relational Spiral: Reciprocal comm pattern in which each person's message reinforces the other's
Ex) "What goes around, comes around"
Approaches to Conflict
Style of Expressing Conflict
Passive Aggressive: Indirect expression of aggression, delivered in way that allows sender to maintain a facade of kindness
Direct Aggression: Message that attacks position and perhaps the dignity of reciever
Indirect Communication: Hinting at message instead of expressing thoughts and feelings directly
Assertive: Comm style that directly expresses sender's needs and thoughts delivered in a way that doesn't attack reciever
Nonassertion: Inability or unwillingness to express one's thoughts or feelings
Ex) Avoidance and Accomodation
Characteristics of an Assertive Message
Describe your feelings
Describe the consequences
Share your interpretation of other person's behavior
State your intentions
Describe the behavior in question
Gender Difference
Conflict Dilemmas
Commonalities
Origins of Gender Difference
Conflict in Online Communication
Disinhibition
No face to face can make it easier to reply aggressive
Permanence
It always stays and is permanent
Delay
People can easily ignore texts, emails, and etc
I do this sometimes when I just do not feel like replying
Managing Interpersonal Conflicts
Methods for Conflict Resolution
Lose-Lose: Approach where neither party achieves its goals
Compromise: Approach where both parties attain at least a part of what they seek by giving something up
Win-Lose: Approach where one party reaches goal at expense of the other
Win-win: Approach where parties work together to satisfy all their goals
Steps in Win-win Problem Solving
Check partner's understanding
Solicit partner's needs
Check understanding of partner's needs
Make a date
Discuss was to meet common goals
Explore your unmet needs
Follow up on solution
Identify problem
Describe problem and needs
What surprised you in the readings? What bothered you?
What both surprised me and bothered me was the steps of achieving a win-win situation when solving a problem.What surprised me was the number of steps that it had. I was not expecting 9 steps. What bothered me about that situation was that I sometimes feel like I never really worked to find a way to get the win win situations.
What confused you or made you want to find out more?
If electronics and other social media causes us to be more dull to communication, is there anyway to help that? In terms of text, emails, and whatnot is there a way to help with the delay and other issues that lie with it?