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CHAPTER 8: MANAGING CONFLICT IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS (APPROACHES TO…
CHAPTER 8: MANAGING CONFLICT IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
UNDERSTANDING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT
Conflict
: An expressed struggle between at least 2 interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals.
4 Parts of Definition
interdependence
perceived incompatible goals
expressed struggle
perceived scare resource
COMMUNICATION CLIMATES IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Confirming and Disconfirming Messages
Confirming messages
define
: Actions and words that express respect and show that we value the other person.
categories
Acknowledge the person's thoughts and feelings
Show that you agree
Show recognition
Disconfirming messages
define
: Words and actions that express a lack of caring or respect for another person.
examples
Partners show contempt
-
contempt
: Verbal and nonverbal messages that ridicule or belittle the other person.
Partners are defensive
-
defensiveness
: Protecting oneself by counterattacking the other person.
Partners criticize each other
-
criticism
: A message that is personal, all-encompassing, and accusatory.
One of both partners engage in stonewalling
-
stonewalling
: Refusing to engage with the other person.
How Communication Climates Develop
Escalatory spirals
: A reciprocal pattern of communication in which messages, either confirming or disconfirming, between two or more communicators reinforce one another.
Avoidance spirals
: A communication spiral in which the parties lowly reduce their dependence on one another, withdraw, and become less invested in the relationship.
Relational spiral
: A reciprocal communication pattern in which each person's messages reinforces the other's.
Communication climate
: The emotional tone of a relationship as it is expressed in the messages that the partners send and receive.
APPROACHES TO CONFLICT
Gender and Conflict Style
Conflict Dliemmas
Commonalities
Origins of Gender Differences
Cultural Influences on Conflict
Characteristics of an Assertive Message
Describe your feeliings
Describe the consequences
Share your interpretation of the other person's behavior
State your intentions
Describe the behavior in question
Conflict in Online Communication
Disinhibition
Permanence
Delay
Style of Expressing Conflict
passive aggression
: An indirect expression of aggression, delivered in a way that allows the sender to maintain a facade of kindness.
direct aggression
: A message that attacks the position and perhaps the dignity of the receive.
indirect communication
: Hinting at a message instead of expressing thoughts and feelings directly.
nonassertion
: The inability or unwillingness to express one's thoughts or feelings.
assertive communication
: A style of communicating that directly expresses the sender's needs, thoughts, or feelings, delivered in a way that does not attack the receiver.
MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICTS
Methods for Conflict Resolution
lose - lose problem solving
: An approach to conflict resolution in which neither party achieves its goals.
compromise
: An approach to conflict resolution in which both parties attain at least of what they seek by giving something up.
win - lose problem solving
: An approach to conflict resolution in which one party reaches his or her goal at the expense of the other.
win - win problem solving
: An approach to conflict resolution in which the parties work together to satisfy all their goals.
Steps in Win - Win Problem Solving
Step 5:
Check your partner's understanding
Step 6:
Solicit your partner's needs
Step 4
: Describe your problem and needs
Step 7:
Check your understanding of your partner's needs
Step 3:
Make a date
Step 8:
Discuss ways to meet your common goals
Generate a number of possible solutions
Evaluate the alternative solutions
Identify and define the conflict
Decide in the best solution
Step 2:
Explore your unmet needs
Step 9:
Follow up on the solution
Step 1:
Identify your problem
QUESTIONS
Explain the unavoidable but potentially problematic role of conflict in interpersonal relationships
Conflict is a fact of life in every relationship, and the way people manage conflict plays major role in the quality of their relationships.
Interpersonal conflict is an acknowledged struggle between at least 2 interdependent people who perceive that hey have incompatible goals, scare resources, and interference from one another in achieving their goals.
Explain the differences among win-lose, lose-lose compromising, and win-win approaches to conflict resolution, and apply the steps involved in achieving win-win solutions
Compromise is often heralded in terms of effective conflict management, but it may not always be the best option,considering that it involved less-than-optimal results for everyone involved.
Win-win outcomes involve goal fullfilment for everyone. This is often possible if the parties involved have the proper attitudes and skills.
Although win-lose and lose-lose conflicts do not sound appealing, in rare occasions they are the best option.