Principles of Interpersonal Conflict
Conflict Is Inevitable
With any relationship.. Family, romantic, coworkers, friends.. Conflict will happen.
A study found that people have around 7 conflicts per week
A more recent poll said there are 182 conflicts between married couples each year (3.5 conflicts per week)
Conflict can be on a Variety of Issues
The most common are freetime, money, household responsibilities, politics, sex, children, pets, religion, jealousy, and stress.
Intimacy, Power, Personal Flaws, Personal Distance, Social, and Distrust Issues
Social Allergens
Personal habits of a friend or partner that you find annoying or inconsiderate
Includes being too critical, using the silent treatment, forgetting important dates (birthdays/anniversarys), wandering eyes
Personality Differences/Clashes 86%, Ineffective Leadership 73%, Lack of Openness 67%, Physical and Emotional Stress 64%, Differences in Values 59%
Conflict can occur in all Communication Forms
Happens in both face-to-face and online
Online Conflict
Poorly timed phone calls, calling someone who's at work just to chat, criticizing someone unfairly, posting unflattering pics
Negative and Positive Aspects of Conflict
Positive
Negative
Forces you to view a problem and work toward a solution
Relationship may emerge stronger and healthier
Acknowledging a conflict shows there is an effort being put into the relationship and there is a desire to continue the relationship
Conflict can lead to negative thoughts about other person involved
Closing off the other person can lead to further conflict
Both may begin to look for intimacy elsewhere because lack of communication in general
Conflict is Influenced by Culture and Gender
Culture
Gender
Some cultures have different tolerances for things
Men tend to avoid conflict while Women want to deal with it
Women are more likely to reveal negative feelings
Consequences of Conflict
Competition: I Win, You Lose: More concern for personal needs, no concern for others needs
Avoiding: I Lose, You Lose: There is no winner in avoiding the conflict. It simply makes things worse
Accommodating: I Lose, You Win: Sacrificing personal needs for their needs. Wanting to maintain harmony, not resolving the conflict
Collaborating: I Win, You Win: Address both sides perspectives of the conflict. Resolving the conflict
Compromising: I Win and Lose, You Win and Lose: Meeting one another in the middle; agreeing to disagree