Principles of Interpersonal Conflict

Conflict Is Inevitable

With any relationship.. Family, romantic, coworkers, friends.. Conflict will happen.

A study found that people have around 7 conflicts per week

A more recent poll said there are 182 conflicts between married couples each year (3.5 conflicts per week)

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Conflict can be on a Variety of Issues

The most common are freetime, money, household responsibilities, politics, sex, children, pets, religion, jealousy, and stress.

Intimacy, Power, Personal Flaws, Personal Distance, Social, and Distrust Issues

Social Allergens

Personal habits of a friend or partner that you find annoying or inconsiderate

Includes being too critical, using the silent treatment, forgetting important dates (birthdays/anniversarys), wandering eyes

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Personality Differences/Clashes 86%, Ineffective Leadership 73%, Lack of Openness 67%, Physical and Emotional Stress 64%, Differences in Values 59%

Conflict can occur in all Communication Forms

Happens in both face-to-face and online

Online Conflict

Poorly timed phone calls, calling someone who's at work just to chat, criticizing someone unfairly, posting unflattering pics

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Negative and Positive Aspects of Conflict

Positive

Negative

Forces you to view a problem and work toward a solution

Relationship may emerge stronger and healthier

Acknowledging a conflict shows there is an effort being put into the relationship and there is a desire to continue the relationship

Conflict can lead to negative thoughts about other person involved

Closing off the other person can lead to further conflict

Both may begin to look for intimacy elsewhere because lack of communication in general

advantages-and-disadvantages

Conflict is Influenced by Culture and Gender

Culture

Gender

Some cultures have different tolerances for things

Men tend to avoid conflict while Women want to deal with it

Women are more likely to reveal negative feelings

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Consequences of Conflict

Competition: I Win, You Lose: More concern for personal needs, no concern for others needs

Avoiding: I Lose, You Lose: There is no winner in avoiding the conflict. It simply makes things worse

Accommodating: I Lose, You Win: Sacrificing personal needs for their needs. Wanting to maintain harmony, not resolving the conflict

Collaborating: I Win, You Win: Address both sides perspectives of the conflict. Resolving the conflict

Compromising: I Win and Lose, You Win and Lose: Meeting one another in the middle; agreeing to disagree 1420657094200