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Chapter 5: Listening (The Value of Listening (Good listeners are not…

- - - - analyzing statement A helping style in which the listener offers an interpretation of a speaker's message
    - - Don't ask question just satisfy your own curiuosity
      - Be sure your questions won't confuse or distract the person you're trying to help
      - Don't use questions to disguise your suggestions or criticism
    - - Judging responses a reaction in which the receiver evaluates the sender's message either favorably or unfavorably
    - - Advising responses helping response in which the receiver offer suggestions about how the speaker should deal with a problem
    - - Prompting: using silence and brief statements of encouragement to draw out a speaker.
    - - Reflecting: Listening that helps the person speaking hear and think about the words just spoken.
- - - - For example: 144 managers were asked to rate their listening skills. And, not one of them described him/herself as a "poor" or "very poor" listener. In fact, 94% rated themselves as "good" or "very good". The favorable self-ratings contrasted sharply with the perceptions of the managers' subordinates, many of whom said their boss's listening skill were weak.
- - - - insulated listening: a style in which the receiver listens carefully to gather information to use in an attack on the speaker.
    - - insensitive listeners: the failure to recognize the thoughts or feelings that are not directly expressed by a speaker, and instead of listening to and encouraging others.
    - - Defensive listeners: A response style in which the receiver perceives a speaker's comments as an attack.
        
        For example: A common defensive response is counterattacking, or even ambushing which means a style in which the receiver listens carefully to gather information to use in an attack on the speaker.
    - - conversational narcissists: people who focus on themselves and their interests instead of listening to and encouraging others
        
        stage hogs: people who are overly invested in being the center of attention
    - - selective listening: A listening style in which the receiver responds only to messengers that interest him or her
    - - To my own experience: For a long period time before, because I consider myself as an introvert person so I am not too talkative and out-going. So, someone my friends who did not talk to me much, thought that I was not friendly at all. However, who talk to me and have chance to get along to me well, who told me that they feel I am a good listener and they always would to confide their feelings to me. Sometimes, I think it harder to find one who can be with you and just listening than one who talk to you much
    - - pseudolistening: An imitation of true listening
  - - - The amount of information we hear everyday makes careful listening to everything impossible.
    - - Listening carefully is also difficult for a physiological reason. We can understand speech at rates up to 600 wpm, however, the average person speaks between 100 and 140 wpm We have a great deal of mental "spare time" and the temptation, such as thinking about personal interests, daydreaming, planning a rebuttal,and so on.
    - - For example: it is hard to pay attention to someone else when you are anticipating an upcoming test or thinking about the wonderful time you had last night with good friends
    - - The sound of traffic, music, other's speech, and the like interfere with our ability to hear well.
        
        For my own experience: At school, it would be better if I can find quite area to spend time on studying, especially when I take online class and have to watch as well as listening to many videos. Fortunately, there are greatly places like that are available in Shoreline CC. Without noise, I can more concentrate on my work, thus, coming up with more effective results.
        
        Solution: turning off the TV, shutting the book you were reading, closing the window,and so on.
    - - Sometimes a person's listening ability suffers from hearing problem.
        
        For example: Older people who often come up with the typical group which has this problem. However, the number of young people with hearing loss is on the rise , in part because of earbuds and similar technology that make impossible to blast our earbuds with dangerously loud noise.
        
        For example: Medical experts have found that in 1 in 8 children and teens and almost 1 in 5 adults have suffered permanent damage to their hearing from excessive exposure to noise.
    - - The behavior that define a good listener vary by culture.
        
        For example: Americans are most impressed bu listeners who ask questions and make supportive statements. By contrast, Iranians tend to judge people's listening skills based on subtle indicators such as their posture and eye contact.
    - - A final challenge to serious listening is in the influence of contemporary mass media, especially television and radio.
        
        To my own experience: Nowadays, in the age of technological innovation, people, especially, teenagers have depended much on social media. They have considered it is prior way to communicate to each other and thus, "forgotten" the listening skill when talking in person