Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Give honest and sincere appreciation

A feeling of Importance

  1. WHAT is a feeling of importance?
  1. WHY is this feeling so important?

A feeling of Importance is one longing - almost as deep, almost as imperious, as the desire for good or sleep - which is seldom gratified.

In general:"If our ancestors hadn't had this flaming urge for a feeling of importance, civilization would have been impossible."

1) quotes said by 4 famous people

2) The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals

Sigmund Freud: "Everything you and I do springs from two motives: the sex urge and the desire to be great."

John Dewey: "The deepest urge in human nature is 'the desire to be important."

William James:"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."

Abraham Lincoln:"Everybody likes a compliment. "

  1. HOW do people earn a feeling of importance?

1) From social success e.g Lincoln, Dockens

2) From crime commitment e.g John Dillinger

3) From repetitional emphasis (being famous) e.g Washington

4) From becoming invalids

Analysis of Insanity

  1. WHAT: In general, people may actually go insane in order to find, in the dreamland of insanity, the feeling of importance that has been denied them in the harsh world of reality.
  1. WHY

50% comes from physical cause e.g brain lesions, alcohol, toxin and other physical injuries

50% comes from 'find in insanity a feeling of importance that they were unable to achieve in the world of reality'

Honest Appreciation

  1. “If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.”
  1. What a difference could it make?

Human Resource Management e.g Charles Schwab, Andrew Carnegie

Relationships (Husband & Wife)

The shaping and development of Individuals e.g Florenz Ziefeld, Stevie Wonder

  1. The different between honest appreciation and flattery

1) Flattery is counterfeit, cheap praise. e.g Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, Alvaro Obregon

2) Sincere appreciation is a new way of life.

King George V:"Teach me neither to proffer nor receive cheap praise."

Ralph Waldo Emerson:"Use what language you will, you can never say anything about what you are."

  1. How do we start to give appreciation

Stop thinking about ourselves, begin to think of the others

Arouse in the other person an eager want

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