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H2WF&IF (How to win people to your way of thinking (The best way to…
H2WF&IF
How to win people to your way of thinking
The best way to win an argument is to avoid it
Postpone action to give both sides time to think
Promise to think over your opponents ideas
Be honest
Look for agreement
Listen First
Control our Temper
Distrust Our first impressions
Welcome the Agreement
Never say "You're wrong"
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
Be the first to point out your own mistakes
Convey that you will avoid making similar mistakes
Begin in a friendly way
Find a way to talk things through in a friendly way
Get the other person saying "Yes, Yes, Yes"
Starts on points in which we agree
Getting them saying yes puts them on the affirmative and makes them more open
Use the socratic method (ask questions they have to say yes to)
Let the other person do the talking
"If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you"
Let the other person feel like the idea is theirs
There is no need to take the credit, just go for results
Try to see things from other peoples point of view
Make a list of reasons why people want the thing you're offering.
Be sympathetic with other peoples ideas and desires
"I dont blame you for feeling the way you do. If I were you I would too"
People thirst for sympathy, give it to them and they will love you
Appeal to nobler ideas
"I take you as a man of your word, have a few days to think this over"
Try to think of a few positive traits that the person tries to embody, and praise them for it such that they embody it
Throw down a challenge
Everyone wants to outdo others and be the best
Stimulate competition
Dramatise your ideas
Find creative ways to show your showmanship
Be a Leader: How to change people without giving offence or arousing resentment
Begin with honest and sincere appreciation
Praise people first, its like an anaesthetic
Call to attention mistakes indirectly
Start by swapping "but" for "and"
Talk about your own mistakes before other people's
Make yourself seem imperfect first
ask yourself what you were like when you were in that positon
Ask questions instead of giving orders
Ask questions that will help bring them to your conclusion
Let the other person save face
Think about how you can make the other person feel good first
Give negative feedback privately
Praise the slightest improvement
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
If you want to improve a particular trait, act as if the person already has it
Make the fault seem easy to correct via encouragement
Be very liberal with praise
Make the other person happy about doing the things you suggest
Six Ways to Make people like you
Be Genuinely interested
Smile
Remember the importance of their name
Repeat their name sveral times
Associate it with a feature or expression of theirs
Ask for spelling and write it down later
Be a good listener
Encourage others to talk about themselves
Talk about yourself as little as possible
Reserve judgement
Aim for 75% listening, 25% talking
Talk in terms of their interests
Learn about them before you engage
Find what is important to them and ask
Make the other person feel important
People often look down, find something we admire in them
Radiate appreciation
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Dont criticise condemn or complain
Criticism is futile because it puts the person on the defensive and makes them immediately want to justify themselves
Give honest and Sincere appreciation
The desire to be important is crucial to everyone
Arouse in the other person an eager want
Everyone is interested in what they want