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guilt (what if (that day (if I had said something (in the car, at the…
guilt
what if
if i wasnt the one there
if we hadn't met
if i took better care of sari
if i shoed her that l cared
if i had stayed with her
that night
that day
if i had said something else
if i found her a bed
if i had found her a room
if i had went to a motel
if I had said something
in the car
at the parking lot
that night
when she said we're gonna be far apart
if i had held her
if I had kissed her
if I had taken her to the doctor
if I took her sholder pain more seriously
if I had checked if she took her medication
if i had tried harder
if i was
smarter
faster
richer
more generous
more careful
more cautious
more worrying
I had been better
if I had been better about her and my family
what can i do now
what if im harmful
how can i measure my harmfulness
how can I test it
how can I fix
.... fix what
i can't message her mom
she doesnt want to talk to me
it's harder for her
she thinks its my fault
it is my fault
why dont people understand that its my fault
definition
n
comit a crime
done wrong
ive done wrong by her
i let her down
im worthless as a person
failed an obligation
i was the one who should have been watching her back
im responsible
i was responsible for her
v
guilt into doing something
not eat
cant do anything right
i dont feel guilty
we came to the conclusion that I'm trying to punish myself
therefore I must be feeling guilty
its hard to think subjectively
who am I?
other explanations for my behaviors
my behaviors
trying to change who I am
try
drugs
alcohol
dress
travel
fights with friends
why cound't i do anything
its me
how can I change me
what about me do I need to change
how can i protect the people around me
im a hypocrit
im a fraud
i need to stop being sad
i should start tomorrow