Chapter 8: Improving interpersonal relationships (Communication climates…
Chapter 8: Improving interpersonal relationships
Understanding interpersonal conflict
Interpersonal conflict: and express struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the others parties in achieving their goals
Express struggle: this can be verbal or nonverbal
Perceived incompatible goals: perceiving goals to be mutually exclusive meaning that both people can't be happy
Perceived scarce resources: if we think there are enough resources we end up in conflict
Interdependence: parties in conflict are usually depending on when one another, some amount of satisfaction depends on the actions of another.
Styles of expressing conflict
Nonassertion: Inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings
In my life: sometimes I feel like I can't come up with the right words
Directly aggressive message: confronts other person in the way that attacks his or her position and even the dignity of the receiver.
Text example: you don't know what you're talking about
Passive aggression: more subtle than direct aggression this occurs when the communicator expresses hostility in an obscure way.
Text example: saying something like I really should be setting but I'll give you a ride.
Indirect communication: this conveys a message and around about manner in order to save face of the recipient.
Example: asking the neighbor if you're doing anything too noisy to hint at the fact that you want him to turn down his music.
Assertion: assertive people handle conflict so I expressing their needs thoughts and feelings clearly and directly but without judging others or dictating to them.
My life: I try to communicate this way
Communication climates in interpersonal relationships
Communication climate: the emotional tone of a relationship
Text Example: warm and friendly classroom versus cold and hostile classroom.
Confirming responses: messages that show you are valued
In my life: Ellie's note after my preformace
Recognition: The act of recognizing other person
Text example: visiting a friend return the phone call making eye contact
Acknowledgment: showing a knowledge meant of the ideas and feelings of others is a stronger form of conformation
In my Life: nodding making eye contact
Endorsement: agreeing with others ideas
Text example: praise is a strong form of endorsement
Disconfirming response: messages that neither value of others
Text example: avoidance, deception, degrading, attachment, discounting, humoring, and personality, and attention, not immediacy, reserved, restraint, restriction of topics, shortening of interaction,
Self perpetuating spiral: a reciprocating communication pattern in which each person's message reinforces the others.
Escalatory conflict spiral : The most visible away that disconfirming messages reinforce one another. Attacked leads to another which continues to escalate until there's a full-fledged battle
Avoidance spiral: these are less obvious but also very distractive rather than fighting party slowly lesson there dependence on one another draw and become less invested in the relationship.
Gibbs categories: left is defensive right is supportive
Evaluation versus description
Control versus problem orientation
Strategy(manipulation) versus spontaneity (honesty)
Neutrality( indifference) versus empathy
Superiority versus equality
Certainty(unyielding) versus provisionalism (reasonabilty)
Managing interpersonal conflict
Win-lose: One party and she is their goal and expense of the other.
Text example: poker or a basketball game
Lose-lose: neither side is satisfied with the outcome
Example: a break up we're both people don't want to break up but they do it anyway and they're both unhappy
Compromise: this gives both parties at least some of what they wanted, and they both sacrifice part of their goals
My life: divorced parents split time with me and Olivia
Win – win: A solution that satisfies the needs of everyone involved
IN my life: Hannah dislikes dark chocolate, I dislike light chocolate so we can give each other the stuff we don't like.