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4.3 Four Listening Styles (Critical Listening (Keep an open mind (Avoid…
4.3 Four Listening Styles
Empathic Listening
In order to understand what a person is feeling or what they mean, you need to listen with empathy
Only when you listen with empathy can you fully understand a person's meaning
Empathetic listening will also help you enhance your relationships
But although empathy often may encourage understanding, it also can create a barrier between your group and "them"
Another danger is over empathizing
It's important to know that it's okay to empathize with others and feel their feelings, but you should make sure you don't lose your own feelings
Therefore, Keep these recommendations in mind:
Engage in equal two-way conversations
Seek to understand both thoughts and feelings
See from the others' point of view
Polite Listening
Show empathy with the speaker
Echo the behavior and feeling of the speaker
Demonstrate you understand
Give supportive listening cues
nod your head
give minimal verbal rosponses
be present and attentive
Maintain eye contact
Make sure you make eye contact (USA)
In other places it's seen as rude, so follow whatever standard applies for each place
Avoid interrupting the speaker
Dont change the topic
Dont take over the speakers turn
Keep the turn on the speaker, be brief
Give positive feedback
Give feedback whether positive or negative
But if it's negative, be polite and respectful
Critical Listening
Recognize your own biases
don't let your own biases distort messages
Leave your personal stuff out of it
Combat the tendency to sharpen
Don't assume things
Focus on the whole "package" not just one part
Avoid filtering out or oversimplifying complex messages
avoid filtering out undesirable messages
reexamine your beliefs and listen to the messages
Focus on both verbal and nonverbal messages
ask questions when in doubt
Listen to what is ommited
Keep an open mind
Avoid prejudicing
Delay your judgements
dont let your assumptions get in the way of the real message
Watch out for language fallacies
Dont be fooled
Active Listening
Functions of active listening:
lets the speaker know you acknowledge and accept his or her feelings
stimulates the speaker to explore their feelings and thoughts
Enables you to check understanding
Techniques of active listening:
Express understanding of the speakers feelings
ask questions
Paraphrase the speakers meaning