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Introduction to Interpersonal Communications (Why are relationships…

- - - - We also have power distribution within the relationship. If it is complementary distribution that means that one person has power and the other is more subordinate.
        
        Doctor/patient, teacher/student
        
        Symmetrical power distribution means that the two people share the power equally or they match each other. So both could try to have the power, which would escalate into a conflict or they both could relinquish the power which looks like “What do you want to do?” “I don’t care what do you want to do?”
  - - - When we share our feelings with another. This includes the wide range of feelings, the degree to which they are significant to you and the depth to which you share them.
    - - When we share a connection beyond ourselves. Perhaps it comes through religion or perhaps it is through nature or any assortment of ways we feel a greater connection to the world around us.
    - - Physical contact, hugging, kissing, dancing, sexual, etc..
    - - Idea exchange. Have you ever felt energized and turned on by the banter or conversation you had with someone? That closeness that comes when you share ideas is intellectual intimacy.
- - - - Instrumental talk helps us “get things done” in our relationships. Our instrumental goals can be long term or day to day
        
        • You ask your friend to help you grocery shop this weekend (gaining/resisting compliance).
  - - - Competent communicators can successfully manage how others perceive them by adapting to situations and contexts.
        
        A parent may perform the role of stern head of household, supportive shoulder to cry on, or hip and culturally aware friend to his or her child
        
        • You and your new college roommate stand in your dorm room full of boxes. You let him choose which side of the room he wants and then invite him to eat lunch with you (presenting yourself as friendly).
  - - - For example, have you ever wanted to stay in and order a pizza and watch a movie, but your friend suggests that you go to a local restaurant and then to the theatre? Maybe you don’t feel like being around a lot of people or spending money (or changing out of your pajamas), but you decide to go along with his or her suggestion. In that moment, you are putting your relational partner’s needs above your own, which will likely make him or her feel valued. It is likely that your friend has made or will also make similar concessions to put your needs first, which indicates that there is a satisfactory and complimentary relationship.
        
        But, if one partner always insists on having his or her way or always concedes, becoming the martyr, the individuals are not exhibiting interpersonal-communication competence.
        
        • You post a message on your long-distance friend’s Facebook wall saying you miss him (checking in).
- - - - The climates established through interpersonal communication that are unique to the relational partners but based on larger cultural and social norms.
        
        We enter into new relationships with expectations based on the schemata we have developed in previous relationships and learned from our larger society and culture
        
        Relationship schemata as blueprints or plans that show the inner workings of a relationship. Just like a schematic or diagram for assembling a new computer desk helps you put it together, relationship schemata guide us in how we believe our interpersonal relationships should work and how to create them