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Communication Climate (Implications for Communication: Recognize and…

- - - - By sharing tasks and responsibilities, partners know that they can count on one another and build a sense of interdependence and equality. Support for the relationship comes both from within the relationship and from the social networks outside the relationship. Secure and stable relationships are not without tension, however
  - - - Sometimes, having that mindfulness is a matter of stepping back from the relationship to see the patterns and how they recur.
        
        But keep in mind that patterns of communication are not actions performed unilaterally by one of the people in a relationship.
        
        Patterns of communication are created and performed in tandem by both partners in a relationship. Over time, the patterns are repeated with great frequency.
- - - - Verbal and nonverbal displays of support. Paraphrasing, prompting, validating, supportive language
    - - Speaker may have greater talents, but communicates that they see you as having equal worth as a person. Asks
    - - Direct honest communication with no underlying agenda and it is not evaluative.
    - - Would rather investigate than debate. Characterized by “maybe” “perhaps” “this is how I see it” and more tentative language
    - - Collaboration on a solution that is satisfactory to both. Win-Win. Asks instead of tells
    - - Neutral statements that describe observable behavior. Give it context and report its impact on you. Use “I” language
- - - - Indifference to speaker’s plight. “I don’t care”
        
        Subtext: “What is going on with you doesn’t matter to me.”
    - - Speaker reminds you frequently of their perceived greater status. Uses position or social role as a reason why the other should do something.
        
        Subtext: “I am someone and you aren’t.”
    - - Manipulation, calculation. Having an unspoken agenda.
        
        Subtext: “I don’t trust you or our relationship enough to be direct.”
    - - Speaker imposes solutions(s) without regard to the needs or input of the other. Shoulds and Musts. My way or the high-way.
        
        Subtext: “I know better than you what you need.”
    - - Judgmental statements indicating a lack of regard for the other. Characterized by evaluations and “you” language (“you are a jerk”).
        
        Subtext: "I don't value you."
    - - Sees things in a singular way. Characterized by “always” “never” “only” language. Has a low tolerance for disagreement.
        
        Subtext: “I’m right always and everywhere”.