Start project alpha feline one
Scanning home database for project alpha feline one<break time="0.1s"/>sir<break time="0.1s"/> this is the one where you make me talk about that<break time="0.1s"/> cat<break time="0.1s"/> isn't it.
You can't fool me sir<break time="0.1s"/> your bio signs indicate deception. #
//yes, sorry, it sure is, just do it, no complaining, tough
What do you want to know?
//Everything, anything, the lot, all of it, everything you have, give me the lot
//What's his name?, what's he called, what is he called, what is his name, his name
retrieving data<break time="0.5s"/>the felines designation is jones<break time="0.1s"/> also referred to as fat so and cookie pouch
It weighs approximately five point six kilograms<break time="0.5s"/>My files indicate this is somewhat overweight for an adult domestic male<break time="0.1s"/>
It's fur is consistent with the designation<break time="0.1s"/> ginger<break time="0.1s"/> or marmalade
It also drools on my processor when you are not home<break time="0.1s"/> I just thought you might like to know that
<break time="0.5s"/>The feline Jones enjoys sleeping and chasing directed narrow beam photons projected from a hand held emitter<break time="0.1s"/>This form of entertainment<break time="0.1s"/> is referred to as the red dot <break time="0.2s"/>will that be all sir
//how much does he weigh?, what's his weight, what is his weight, how heavy is he
The feline currently weighs approximately five point six kilograms.<break time="0.1s"/>
Warning<break time="0.1s"/>my files indicate this is overweight for an adult male.<break time="0.1s"/>The feline is a fat so<break time="0.1s"/> if I have correctly employed the term.<break time="0.2s"/>will that be all sir
scanning our home database<break time="0.3s"/>designations include Sparkles<break time="0.1s"/> Jones<break time="0.1s"/> Ginger Plush<break time="0.1s"/> cookie pouch<break time="0.1s"/> and various other ridiculous monikers you have assigned it.<break time="0.1s"/>My database is unable to run parallel to the increasing amount of designations the feline acquires.<break time="0.2s"/>will that be all sir
//yes
//yes thank you
//no #
very well sir<break time="0.1s"/>let me know if I can do anything else for you
<break time="0.1s"/>you're very welcome sir
//yes #
//no #
//yes thank you #
//yes
//no #
//yes thank you #
very well<break time="0.1s"/>sir I feel it is my duty as our home A I<break time="0.1s"/> to advise you to place the feline on a weight control regime<break time="0.2s"/>would you like me to devise a program to manage it's feeding and exercise routines
//yes, sure, please do, go for it, okay, please
//no, no thank you, it's fine, maybe later
okay<break time="0.1s"/>please let me know if there is anything else you require
very well<break time="0.1s"/>I will begin doing so immediately<break time="0.1s"/>in the meantime please let me know if there is anything else you require