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Win Friends AND Influence People (1) Fundamental Techniques in Handling…

- - - - The point of the story is this: “Two Gun” Crowley didn’t blame himself for anything.
        
        Is that an unusual attitude among criminals?
        
        “I learned thirty years ago that it is foolish to scold. I have enough trouble overcoming my own limitations without fretting over the fact that God has not seen fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence.” - John Wanamaker
        
        People don’t criticize themselves for anything
        
        Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
        
        The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned.
        
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        B. F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal
        rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more
        effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. Later studies have shown that the same
        applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
        
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        “I have spent the best years of my life giving people the lighter pleasures, helping them have a good time, and all I get is abuse, the existence of a hunted man.” - Al Capone
        
        Capone didn’t condemn himself & regarded himself
        as an unappreciated and misunderstood public benefactor.
        
        Dutch Schultz also said he was a
        public benefactor. And he believed it.
        
        “Few of the
        criminals in Sing Sing regard themselves as bad men. They are just as human as you and I. So
        they rationalize, they explain. They can tell you why they had to crack a safe or be quick on the
        trigger finger. Most of them attempt by a form of reasoning, fallacious or logical, to justify their
        antisocial acts even to themselves, consequently stoutly maintaining that they should never
        have been imprisoned at all.” - Lewis Lawes
        
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      - May 7, 1931
        
        “Two Gun” Crowley -the killer, the gunman who didn’t smoke or drink -was at bay, trapped in his sweetheart’s apartment on West End Avenue.
        
        One hundred and fifty policemen and detectives laid siege to his top-floor hideway.
        
        E. P. Mulrooney declared that the two-gun desperado was one of the most dangerous criminals ever encountered in the history of New York. “He will kill,” said the Commissioner, “at the drop of a feather.”
        
        But how did “Two Gun” Crowley regard himself? We know, because while the police were firing into his apartment, he wrote a letter addressed “To whom it may concern, ” And, as he wrote, the blood flowing from his wounds left a crimson trail on the paper. In this letter Crowley said: “Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one -one that would do nobody any harm.”
        
        A short time before this, Crowley had been having a necking party with his girl friend on a country road out on Long Island. Suddenly a policeman walked up to the car and said: “Let me see your license.”
        
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      - http://swordandscale.com/francis-two-gun-crowley/
  - - - The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want.
        
        Some of the things most people want include:
        
        There is one longing - almost as which is seldom gratified. It is what Freud calls “the desire to be great.”
        
        William James said: "The
        deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."
        
        Here is a gnawing and unfaltering human hunger, and the rare individual who honestly satisfies this heart hunger will hold people in the palm of his or her hand and “even the undertaker will be sorry when he dies.”
        
        If our ancestors hadn’t had this flaming urge for a feeling of importance, civilization would
        have been impossible
        
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        Health and the preservation of life.
        
        Food.
        
        Sleep.
        
        Money and the things money will buy.
        
        Life in the hereafter.
        
        Sexual gratification.
        
        The well-being of our children.
        
        A feeling of importance.
        
        What do you want?
        
        1) Sigmund Freud
        
        Everything you and I do springs from two motives: the sex urge and the desire to be great.
        
        2) John Dewey
        
        Dr. Dewey said that the deepest urge in human nature is “the desire to be important."
      - Remember, there is no other way.