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Managing Conflict (Conflict Styles (5 different conflict styles: avoidance…
Managing Conflict
Conflict Styles
5 different conflict styles: avoidance, accommodation, competition, compromise, collaboration
avoidance- when people ignore or stay away from conflict
accommodation- when we allow others to have their own way rather than asserting our own point of view
competition- a win-lose approach to conflict that involves high concern for self and low-self concern for others
passive aggression- when a communicator express dissatisfaction in a disguised manner
direct agression- character attacks, competence attacks, physical appearance attacks, maledictions, teasing, ridicule, threats, swearing, and nonverbal emblems
compromise- gives both people at least some of what they want, although both sacrifice part of their goals
collaboration- seeks win-win solutions to conflict
it depends on the situation when deciding what style to use
Conflict Management in Practice
define your needs- decide what you want or need
Share your needs with the other person: once you define your needs, share them with your partner
Listen to the other person's needs: once your own wants and needs are clear, it's time to find out what the other person wants and needs
Generate possible solutions- you and your partner try to think of ways to satisfy both your needs
5.Evaluate the possible solutions and choose the best one: the time to eval the solutions is after they all have been generated
implement the solution: try out the idea
Follow up the solution: a follow up evaluation should take place
What is Conflict?
conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals.
for conflict to exist, all people must know that some disagreement exists
exist when people believe there isn't enough of something to go around
conflicts are bound to happen, even in the best relationships
many satisfied couples handle their conflicts more effectively
people in a conflict are dependent on each other
Conflict in Relational Systems
complementary conflict- the partners use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors
symmetrical conflict- both people use the sam tactics
escalatory spiral- both parters treat with matching hostility, one threat and insult leads to another
4 destructive signs- criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling
conflict rituals- unacknowledged but very real repeating patterns of interlocking behavior
what works in one situation isn't likely to succeed in many others
Variables in Conflict Styles
gender- research suggest men and women often approach conflicts differently
boys- aggressive, girls- cooperative
culture- people from different cultures prefer mutually beneficial resolutions to disagreements whenever possible
within in the US, ethnic background of a communicators plays a role in their ideas about conflict
it's important to realize that culture is only one of many factors that influence the way people think about conflict or how they behave when they disagree