Conflict Management In Practice
Define your needs- decide what you want or need
Share your needs with the other person
Listen to the other person's needs
Generate possible solutions to satisfy both of your wants and needs
Evaluate the possible solutions and choose the best one
Implement the solution
Follow up the solution
What Is Conflict?
for conflict to exist all people must be aware of the problem
Perceived Incompatible Goals
In all conflicts one person's gain is another's loss.
Perceived Scarce Resources
Conflicts can arise when people think there isn't enough of something for everyone
The people involved in the conflict are dependent on each other even if they don't see it. The welfare and satisfaction depend on the other person otherwise there would be no conflict.
Conflicts are unavoidable even in the best relationships. We just need to learn how to handle them effectively when they do arise.
Conflict- two or more people who express struggle between incompatible goals, scare resources, and interference from the other person to achieve their goals.
Competition (Win-Lose)- high concerns for yourself and not for others
Passive Aggression- expresses dissatisfaction in a disguised manner
Direct Aggression- character attacks, competence attacks, physical appearance attacks, maledictions(wishing the other bad fortune), teasing, ridicule, threats, swearing, and nonverbal emblems
Avoidance (Lose-Lose)- when people ignore or stay away from the problem. Can be physical or conversational.
Accommodation (Lose-Win)- when we allow the others to have it their way instead of arguing our point of view.
Compromise (Negotiated Lose-Lose)- give both people some of what they want, but something must be sacrificed
Collaboration (Win-Win)- concern for yourself and others with the main goal being problem solving
Conflict In Relational Systems
Complementary and Symmetrical Conflict
Complementary conflict- use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors
Symmetrical conflict- both use the same
Escalatory spiral- if both partners treat each other with hostility and it becomes a vicious cycle of threats and insults
De-escalatory spiral- if both withdraw instead of working out their problems this happens
Toxic Conflict: The Four Horseman
Criticism- attacks on a person's character
Defensiveness- reaction to protect your face by denying responsibility and counterattacking them
Contempt- belittles and demeans them
Stonewalling- one person shuts down the interaction and any chance in solving the problem the right way
Conflict Rituals- repeating patterns of interlocking behavior the is not noticed
Variables In Conflict Styles
Gender- boys are more likely to be aggressive and demanding, on the other hand, girls are more likely to cooperate and be accommodating
Culture- differ in their orientation toward disagreement and how important it is to maintain a relationship and how they want to preserve their face