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Conflict Management Stages (Stage 2: Define the conflict (Empathize…
Conflict Management Stages
Step 1: Set the stage
Fight in private
Fight about things that can be solved
Don't air the fight to other parties
Stage 2: Define the conflict
Define content and relationship issues
Define the obvious and underlying issues
Define problem in specific terms
State actual issues like "do the dishes or laundry" instead of "you need to do more chores"
Focus on the present
Don't bring up past arguments and focus on conflict at stake
Empathize
Trying to understand the other party's point of view
Be open minded in a conflict
Example: don't think that the other person is automatically wrong because they don't agree with you
Avoid mind reading
Ask questions and don't assume
Stage 3: Identify a goal
Figure out what you want to accomplish by the end of the conflict
Decide if the conflict is going to resolve a difference or end the relationship
Stage 4: Identify and evaluate your choices
Brainstorm choices and outcomes by yourself or the other party
Propose the choices and choose one that will allow both parties to win
Stage 5: Act on selected choice
Think about the choice and how you will feel then act on it physically by doing
Stage 6: Evaluate the choice
Evaluate the choice and how it worked out
If it worked then continue on with it
If not, talk with the other party and chose a different choice
Stage 7: Wrap it up
Continue to act upon the conflict in ways to make it better
Keep conflict in perspective and don't blow it out of proportion
Continue to exchange rewards and cherishing behaviors from the other party
