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Gender in Language and Communication II (Compliments (Why are…
- Gender in Language and Communication II
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Coversation
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Deborah Jones (1990) identified four (4) types of conversations among women who in her view were 'gossip'.
‘house-talk’ – occupational talk i.e. conversations between housewives are considered ‘talking-shop’;
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‘chatting’ – 'purely phatic' – empty chats. "Phatic" refers to empathy that one has towards others; 'emphatise'.
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Jones (1990:244) ‘women’s gossip is a language of intimacy … arising from the solidarity and identity of women as members of a social group with a pool of common experience’
Pamela Fishmen's study (1978, 1983, 1998) studies 'interactional strategies’ and the role of gender in 'private' conversations.
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Minimal responses / feedback protocol / backchannel support – response like mhmm, yeah, right, ahmm, ya ya
‘cooperative talk’ (Coates, 1989)
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Men – use of delayed talk for controlling the topic of conversation – a non-collaborative action or 'uncooperative’
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Topic Initiation and uptake - The topic of conversation is important. Topics of male conversations are usually successful because women naturally help to develop topics by using minimal responses (supportive efforts of women).
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Elicitation
Supportive Elicitation
Respond positively to the content of the presentation and stimulate the speakers to 'expand' or 'elaborate' certain aspects
Example: You’ve described the formal features of this structure very clearly. I wonder if you could elaborate a little on the social implications?
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Critical Elicitation
It has a critical tone, less sincere and skeptical.
I can see what you’re getting at, but …
It isn’t always possible to collect all the information… Are you aware, for instance, that in a recent argument about … no one was able to identify the real cost?
Antagonistic Elicitation
Highly critical, challenging, and aggressive.
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Ex. You’re being very inconsistent. It’s not much use having a policy it it’s not going to be effective, is it? (Challenging tag – Holmes, 1990.)
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Compliments
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The praise given will make one feel happy and this act is appreciated by the recipient of the praise or the listener.
Example:
Chris: Hi Pat. Sorry I’m late. The boss wanted to set up a time for a
meeting just as I was leaving.
Pat: That’s o.k. Chris. You’re looking good. Is that a new suit?
Chris: Hm… it’s nice, isn’t it? I got it in Auckland last month.
Compliments are given for the purpose of making someone “feel happy’ or ‘feel good’ (Wierzbicka, 1987: 201).
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Praise is a positive act that can enhance solidarity among speakers and listeners. It is a 'social lubricant' which aims to maintain relationships or 'maintain rapport' (Wolfson, 1983: 86).
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Example: Wow, what legs. What are you doing with them tonight sweetie?
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Herber (1990), the praise given by men is in the form of acceptance where the recipient of praise does not only recognize the evaluation function given but he also agrees and accepts the praise.
Example: Two neighboring men met at the fence.
Mike: New car?
Joe: Yeah.
Mike: Looks as if it will move.
Joe: Yeah, it goes well I must say.
It is normal for women to give unreasonable response or the type of response reduces the force of compliments.
Example: Two girlfriends arrived at the club. Helen: What a neat outfit! Gerry: It’s actually quite old.
Why are compliments/praise often given to women and rarely given to men?
Is it social friendly to give praise to women?
Women who occupy subordinate social position tend to show their acceptance in society (seek social approval).
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