Chapter 12 Managing Conflict (What is Conflict? (Conlfict is in many forms…
Chapter 12 Managing Conflict
Most people have their own styles with handling conflict.
Avoidance: occurs when people ignore or stay away from conflict.
Competition: a win or lose approach to conflict that involves high concern for self and low concern for others.
Accommodation: when we allow others to have their own way rather than asserting our own point of view.
Passive agression: when a communicator expresses dissatisfaction in a disguised manner.
Passive agression: when a communicator exxpresses dissatisfaciton ina disquised manner.
Direct Agression: charecter attacks, competence attacks, physical appearane attacks, malediction. For example swearing, threats or teasing the opposing person.
What is Conflict?
Conlfict is in many forms, sometimes their is angry shouting, yelling at the children and other times the conflict involves a discussion.
Conflict: the expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interfierence from the other party in achieving their goals.
For conflict to exist, all the people involved must know that some disagreement exist. You maybe upset for months be ause a neighbors loud music keeps you awake, but no conflicts exist until the neighbor lears about your problem.
All conflicts look as if one persons gain would be anothers loss. For example if the neighbors music keeps you awake at night. It appears that someone has to lose.
The goals in this situation really arent completely incompatible and solutions exist that allow both people to get what they want. For instance youyou could achieve peace and quiet by closing your windows or getting the neigbor to close theirs.
Conflicts are bound to happen, even in the best relationships, it is often times what makes them stronger if you work through them the right way.
Antagonists feel that peole in a conflict are dependant on each other.
Because it is impossibel to avoid conflicts, the challenge is to handle them effectively when they do arise.
Research shows that people in both happy and unhappy relationships have conflicts, but that tey percieve them and manage them in different ways.
Many satisfied couples handle their conflicts more effectively. They recognize disagreementsas healthy and know that conflict need to be faced.
Conflict in Relational Stysems
In reality conflict is relational: its charecter is usually determined by the way the people involved interact . For example you might be determined to handle a conflict with your neighbors collaboratively, only to be driven to competition.
Complementary conflict: the partners use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors.
Symetrical conflict: soome complementary conflicts are destructive, whereas others are constructive.
Escalatory spiral: if both partners treat one another with matchin hostility.
de-escalatory spiral: the satisfaction and vitality ebb from the relationship.
Variables in Conflict Styles
Men and women often approach conflicts differentlyl. Even in childhood, their is evidence that boys on average are more agressive, demanding, and competitive, and girls ar emore coopertavie and understanding.
For example a boy might say "gimme that thing" and girls aremore likely to make proposals for actions that begin with the word lets.
Gender differences in dealing with conflicts often persist into adulthood.
People from most cultures prefer mutually beneficial resolutions to disagreements whenever possible.
Asian cultures tend to avoid conftontation, placing a premium on preserving and honoring the faace of the other person.