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Dynamics of Interpersonal Relationships (Why We Form Relationships…
Dynamics of Interpersonal Relationships
Why We Form Relationships
Appearance
First impression
more important in the beginning
Similarity
plays initial role in attraction
Complementarity
when each partner's personality satisfy the other's needs
Rewards
seek people who can give us rewards that are greater or equal to the costs we encounter with them
Competency
we like to be around talented people, but not too talented or we feel out of place
Proximity
we develop relationships with people who we interact with the most
Disclosure
attraction comes from learning the ways in which we are similar
Relational Dynamics and Communtication
Developmental Models of Interpersonal Relationships
relational maintenance- aimed at keeping relationships operating smoothly and satisfactorily
initiating stage- goals are to show that you are interested in making contact and to demonstrate that you are worth talking to
experimenting-searching for common ground. Questions. Small talk.
intensifying- qualitatively interpersonal relationship
spending more time together, sharing activities, mutual friends, traveling together
integrating- taking identity as a social unit
bonding- symbolic public gestures
differentiating- needing to reestablish their individual identities
circumscribing- reduce scope of contact (my instead of our)
stagnating- hollow shell of its former self
avoiding- create distance by avoiding the other person
terminating- ending
Dialectical Perspectives on Relational Dynamics
integration versus separation
integration separation dialectic- conflicting desires for connection and independence
connection autonomy dialectic- we want to be close to others but we also want to be independent
inclusion seclusion dialectic- struggle to meet the competing needs
stability versus change
stability change dialectic- operates both between partners and when we face others outside of the relationship
predictability novelty dialectic- tension between wanting something unexpected but not too much
conventionality uniqueness dialectic- captures the challenges that people face in a relationship face when trying to meet others expectations as well as their own
expression versus privacy
expression privacy dialectic- disclosures to a certain extent to keep our space
openness closedness dialectic- internal struggle between expression and privacy
revelation concealment dialectic- external struggle between expression and privacy
strategies for managing dialectical tensions
denial- respond to one end and ignore the other
alternation- choose one end depending on the situation
disorientation- overwhelmed and helpless and are unable to confront their problems
segmentation- compartmentalize different areas of their relationship
balance- both forces are equally important and use compromise
integration- accept opposing forces without diminishing them
recalibration- reframing the problem so that it disappears
reaffirmation- dialectical tensions will never disappear
Communicating About Relationships
content and relational messages
metacommunication-messages that refer to other messages
maintaining and supporting relationships
relational maintenance- positivity, openness, assurances, social networks, sharing tasks
social support- helping others during difficult times(emotional, informational, instrumental)
repairing damaged relationships
relational transgression- letting the other down in an important way