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Interpersonal Relationships (Relationship Stages (3 stages of friendship,…
Interpersonal Relationships
Advantages and Disadvantages of Interpersonal Relationships
Disadvantages of interpersonal relationships
Pressure to reveal yourself and vulnerabilities
Increase obligations to other people
Can lead you to abandon other relationships
The closer the relationship, the harder to dissolve
You will experience hurt
Benefits of Interpersonal Relationships
Help lessen loneliness
You learn about yourself and see yourself from the different perspectives and in different roles
enhance self-esteem
contribute to physical and emotional health
maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain
stimulation
Relationship Stages
Involvement stage
Sense of mutuality, of being connected occurs
Ask questions ex: where do you work?
Intensify your interaction
Test each other and try to find out how the other feels
Intimacy stage
Can be honest and open about yourself
Commit yourself a friend, lover or companion
Communication becomes more personal
Become a romantic pair
Contact stage
Perceptual- you see what they look like, sounds like and even smell like
Interactional-stage of introductions ex: hello my name is...
Begin flirting
Friendliness, warmth, openness, and dynamism revealed
Deterioration stage
Only entered by some
Weakening of bonds between parties
No longer lessens your loneliness
Fails to increase your self-esteem or maximize pleasure
Begins to feel that the relationship may not be as important as previously thought
Communicate less, respond to messages with greater delay, and self-disclose less
3 stages of friendship
Contact- hesitant
Involvement- dyadic consciousness
Close and intimate relationships- exclusive unit; make sacrifices
Repair stage
1st stage-analyze what went wrong and consider a way of solving, consider changing your behavior or expectations
2nd stage-talk about the problem, what you are willing to do and want to see your partner correct, negotiate new agreements
Contact, involvement, intimacy, deterioration, repair, and dissolution
Dissolution stage
in both friendship and romance, is the cutting of the bonds that tie you together
Stage Movement
Three types of arrows:
-Exit arrows: show that each offers the opportunity to exit the relationship. After saying "Hello" you can say "Goodbye" and exit.
-Vertical arrows: between the stages represent the fact that you can move to another stage: either to a stage that is more intense or to a stage that is less intense
-Self-reflexive arrows: the arrows that return to the beginning of the same level or stage - signify that the relationship may become stabilized at any point.
-In other words, you can maintain a relationship at one stage without moving forward or back
The relationship
license The license or permission to break some relationship rule as a result of your relationship stage
-as you grow closer in intimacy, you may gain more permission to say and do things that you wouldn't be able to do otherwise
0This license becomes broader as the relationship develops and becomes more restrictive as the relationship deteriorates
-Maybe reciprocal in some but not in others
-often established nonverbally
Turning Points
Movement through the various stages take points gradually and by leaps- often more gradually
-turning points are significant relationship events that have important consequences for the individuals and the relationship and may turn its direction or trajectory
-turning points are often positive but can be something negative like figuring out your partner has been unfaithful or lied
These vary with culture, for example, in some cultures the first sexual experience with someone is a big deal, but not in others
-What constitutes a turning point with vary with relationship stage
The Dark Side of Interpersonal Relationships
Reaction to a relationship threat; feeling we have when we feel our relationship is in danger due to some rival.
A complex of thoughts, emotions, and actions that follows loss or threats to self esteem and/or the existence of a relationship.
The perceived loss or threat is generated by the perception of a real or potential attraction between ones partner and a real/imagined rival.
Dealing with relationship violence if you have a violent pattern
-realize you are not alone
-know that help is available
-know that you can change
-own your behavior and take responsibility
Dealing with relationship violence if your partner has been violent
-Realize you are not alone
-realize you are not at fault
-plan for safety
-violence is likely to happen again
-know your resources
Relationship Violence warning signs
-Belittles, insults, or ignores you
-is controlling
-gets jealous without cause
-can't handle sexual frustration without anger
-is so angry and threatening you change your actions in
order to not provoke him or her
Dealing with Bullying
-Be clear about opposition to bullying
-Zero-tolerance
-Investigate bullying promptly and fairly
-If possible and can be done safely, confront the bully
-Take action
Threats: increase in marriage (if you don't clean the dishes, you're sleeping on the couch)
Ultimatums: females use them more often; large predictor of relational disillusion
Bullying: can happen anywhere, including workplace
Exploitation
Cognitive component-what makes us jelly
Affective component-how does it feel
Behavioral component- what do we do when jelly
